Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Kardashians are working their way into every inch of our lives, and now that includes government agencies. It’s finally happened. I’ve dreaded this day. What day, you ask? The day that Kim Kardashian’s app game Kim Kardashian: Hollywood appears on the official Twitter account for the Environmental Protection Agency’s Office of Water.
You might have heard about Kim’s little game. I’ve avoided it, because I’m worried looking directly at it will suck my soul out of my body and then insert it directly into Kris Jenner’s morning coffee. I simply do not want to support her habit. But I’ve still heard people talking about how addictive the game is. So addictive it’s managed to infiltrate a government agency. Last night @EPAwater’s account tweeted the following message (which of course has since been deleted):
“I’m now a C-List celebrity in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. Come join me and become famous too by playing on iPhone!”
It also had a link to get the app. And of course the tweet got 3,000 retweets in a couple of hours. Yeah, it was up that long before anyone bothered to take it down.
The way I see it, there are several possible explanations for it. Maybe they were hacked by a prankster. Or maybe whoever is in charge of that account is having a lot of fun playing that game but forgot which Twitter account they were logged into. Sure, we could pose that explanation and leave it at that, but what if this thing goes deeper than we think? What if they’re starting small so we won’t suspect anything, only to realize what’s happening when it’s already too late? First it’s the EPA, next it’s the White House and NASA and the CIA. No one is safe from the Kardashian brand. It’ll claim everyone in the world before we have a chance to fight back.
Get your apocalypse bunkers ready now, my friends. The end is nigh.