Blake Lively, hair icon and probable golden retriever, is on the cover of the August issue of Vogue, with an accompanying interview. In said interview, Blake talks about everything from her weird sense of humor to her new lifestyle website Preserve (following Gwyneth’s lead, I would have expected BOOL, but okay). She also touches on her relationship with husband Ryan Reynolds. Oh yeah, they’re married and stuff. There’s an 80% chance you forgot. And an even bigger chance you can’t name the last movie either of them was in.
Blake and Ryan are without children, even though a few months back I was worried Blake might eventually replace Jennifer Aniston as not only America’s hairspiration but also the lady with the most false pregnancy reports. But just because she and Ryan aren’t parents yet doesn’t mean she thinks he won’t be a good father. She says he will in the interview. And then she starts saying some other stuff I don’t really get.
“He’s going to be a great father and leader and patriarch—he’s so meant to be all of those things.”
I’m sorry, are you complimenting your husband’s potential to be a parent or endorsing him for political office? Or maybe as the head of some kind of secret tribe of sunshine people? And also… “patriarch”? What is this, Dallas?
Then she starts talking about all of Ryan’s amazing life experience:
“The fact that he lived so much before we got together, he’s the exact realized person that he should be. And so I get to share my life with the person he’s become, and we get to grow from there.”
Is this a reference to the fact that Ryan is eleven years older than her, or just an appreciation of the fact that they didn’t get married as children? I was almost expecting her to say “he lived so much before I was born.” But — and correct me if I’m wrong here — don’t most people live for a while before they get together with their spouses? Does Ryan have some special contraption that allows him to gather twice as much life experience? I’m genuinely interested. It would really help me complete my bucket list faster, and I kind of want to get all that stuff out of the way ASAP.
Anyway, I look forward to Ryan’s 2016 presidential campaign.