Taylor Swift Has Concocted An Evil Plot To Make Sure No One Ever Sees Her Sweaty

Taylor Swift leaving her gym in New York City July 2014In case you needed any more proof that Taylor Swift is an evil genius who is destined to take over the world one day, she’s somehow figured out a way to make even the paparazzi work for her.

That’s right, the same people that other celebrities get into screaming matches with or have to go to court to answer for charges of assaulting (hello Justin Bieber), Taylor has quietly and efficiently enlisted into her army of people working together to make her look good. HOW DOES SHE DO IT.

Taylor knows that when she’s at the gym she goes to in New York City, that there are bound to be photographers waiting outside when she’s done. So instead of letting them see her sweatily sneaking out the back, deepening her frown lines and trying to shield her face from their insistent flashes, she just leaves an extra hour for herself after each workout so she has time to get real fancied up. At which point the paps are actually doing her a favor taking her picture. According to Confidenti@l:

“She spends an hour in the locker room post-workout so she can look flawless for the photographers who follow her.”

And since she goes there pretty much daily when she’s in the city, Taylor essentially gets herself a scheduled photo shoot every day just by planning ahead when she goes to the gym. Which is a place she was gonna go anyway! Brilliant.

B-list and C-list celebrities have to call the paps ahead of time and leak their location to get that kind of intentional coverage, and A-list celebrities spend most of their natural lives ducking it, but Taylor has found a sweet spot right in the middle where she and the photographers both get what they want.

Man. This girl never ceases to amaze me by being so much better at being famous than anybody else. You know she’s in her (tastefully-appointed) underground bunker right now, cackling as she cracks open another seltzer (her fourth of the day!) and teaches her cats Meredith and Olivia Benson how to do her hair and makeup while she’s sleeping. WORLD DOMINATION.

(Photo: WENN.com)

Share This Post:
    • Lily Savage

      First manipulating the paparazzi, then the world!!!!!!

    • Anna

      genius! We want pictures please!

      • Bambi

        Your wish is my command.

      • Bambi


      • Alexis Rhiannon

        KILLING. IT.

      • Bambi

        Please don’t ignore Meredith in the third to last photo. She’s sitting in that bag, plotting how she’s going to bring the downfall of Olivia Benson.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Don’t EVER ignore Meredith, please and thank you.

      • Anna

        So much pretty!

    • Swiftalicious_13
    • Napoleon

      Vanity is bliss, right?

    • bambi

      Okay. So she’s been dabbling a bit into feminism, is friends with Emma Stone AND Ingrid Michaelson, has a terrific sense of fashion, takes the time and energy to look and project the best possible image that she can, has been published in the Wall Street Journal AND is starring in a movie with Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep. I’m in awe. Is she trying to be the next Beyoncé?

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know! Dare I say it, she might even be eclipsing her!

      • Jenny

        She’s been friends with Emma Stone since 2009!!

      • Ann

        She’s not trying to be the next who. She doesn’t need to. She’s just about as famous as anyone can get. Like I said before Taylor is making her own piece of history in her own way and she will leave behind her own legacy.

    • Samantha Escobar


    • elharbeson

      What a dastardly young woman, She should be kicked out of the human race. Imagine taking the time to look and smell good after working out. They should make a law which prevents people leaving a work out area if they do not smell like an old shoe and look like a homeless person.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        100% agree, so glad someone is taking this as seriously as I am.

    • markmywords

      Smart girl. I like her.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Me too! I’ve really come around!

      • avalon

        Alexis I told you I drink the Taylor Swift crazy juice every morning with my oatmeal. Looks like you are starting to enjoy some too. Its delicious isn’t it. Very funny enjoyed this, are you sure her new publicist doesn’t have you tied up somewhere?

      • markmywords

        Care to tell me more about that crazy juce? Sounds interesting.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        *Sounds of struggle.*

        …no. Everything is a-okay over here! Thanks for stopping by!

      • markmywords

        Hey Alexis, how you doin’?
        Why didn’t you like Swifty? Did she do something questionable (besides bearding)?

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Oh I just wasn’t into her whole deal. I thought she came off as really fake, but now I’m seeing that more as polish and professionalism and I’m innnnto it.

        And I’m well, how are you??

      • Papillon

        “And I’m well, how are you??”

        That’s so nice!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Sometimes I try!

    • ali reza shahmansouri

      she’s better

    • AEM

      Taylor is a great role model, but she is over-doing it. It doesn’t look natural/real anymore. Taylor looks better than the supermodels that she walks with, because she has a full face of makeup, while Lily, Karlie, Cara, and Candice look natural without maek-up.
      Even when she went sightseeing at World Trade during Father’s Day, she was wearing 5″ cameltoe heels. Is this normal?? Taylor is just setting the bar too high for her young fans. You can see this on her Instagram comments as so many fans say “I’ll never be as pretty as Tay” or ” I wish I could be pretty” or even “I’ll never be as perfect as Tay.”
      This is not healthy for the young teenage mindset. People don’t need to be “pefect.”

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Lorde would agree with you!

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