• Thu, Jul 17 - 1:13 pm ET

Kimye’s Allegedly Protecting Baby North From Paparazzi By Going And Buying A Brand New Baby

Kimye Kim Kardashian North Kabye West Vogue

Apparently, when you are Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, nothing is out of the question when it comes to protecting your baby direction from the paparazzi. Not even allegedly purchasing a whole other baby! Who cares if the total costs toe the one million dollar line? According to OK Magazine, hiring someone else’s infant as your baby’s stand-in is, like, totally in right now. Plus, at just 800 grand, the reported price of Fake North West’s sanity and well-being comes at a sick bargain. The real question is how could you not uproot this baby from its probably normal existence, all to protect your kid from the madness that you yourself are responsible for?

I hope you’re still able to read on with those question marks that have now developed in place of your eyeballs. Because it gets even more insane and I can’t lose you now. In addition to allegedly holding auditions for human children to play the real-life role of their own human child —whom Kim would like to remind you, once again, ruined her body,— Kim and Kanye allegedly hired a fake nanny as well. You know, so the paparazzi piranhas wouldn’t get suspicious that the poor lady assigned to raising the child of these two ridiculous people looked a little different from time to time. You just can’t slack when there are body doubles to be dealt with.

I just hope that, with all of this identity switching going on, Kim doesn’t accidentally rear the wrong kid. Or worse, get confused and think that she’s Kris Jenner and attempt to pimp out both babies to the tabloids. Stranger things have happened. Like that one time that a crazy person allegedly sold their child to the Kardashian-Wests to assist in maintaining the overall cushiness of Baby North’s life. Oh, wait.

(GIF: Tumblr)

You can reach this post's author, Olivia Wilson, on twitter.
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  • Lily Savage

    Will the decoy baby also get a spread in Vogue and a politically incorrect party??

    • Olivia Wilson

      Only if she proves that she has what it takes to frown like the queen, herself.

  • M_G

    And YOU KNOW Kris is locked in her room screaming into her mirror, “Why didn’t YOU think to simply BUY more kids?!?! GAH! Get your head in the game, Jenner!”

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    cool and cheap . it’s for kids
    Kindle FreeTime Kid-Proof Case for the All New Kindle Fire HD, Green (does not fit previous generation HD model)
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