Ryan Seacrest Has Picked Out A Brand New Beard, And Her Name Is Shayna Taylor

Shayna Mitchell lingerie picture Instagram July 2014It’s been a hot minute since Ryan Seacrest has been in an implausible relationship with a tiny, much-younger blonde, so enter Shayna Taylor, his newest acquisition. Or beard. Or whatever we’re calling it now. I guess ‘girlfriend’ is as good a word as any, considering.

As you may recall, Ryan previously dated Julianne Hough for almost three years before breaking up in 2013 because Ryan was way too busy and didn’t have the time to focus on a relationship. At least…that was the excuse that they used at the time. But with the benefit of a little hindsight, Julianne very helpfully remembered about two weeks ago that she was never actually in love with Ryan!

Julianne never quite gets around to explaining why not, or why she elected to stay with Ryan for almost thirty-six calendar months despite not loving him, but I suspect it had something to do with Ryan gifting her with a $3 million break-up mansion at the conclusion of their time together. With all that on the line, it’s a pretty sweet deal to stay with someone like Ryan, especially because the added visibility of being on his arm is immensely helpful to your career.

Something that Shayna is already discovering! She’s currently signed to Wilhelmina Models on a two-year contract, a business deal that fell into place shortly after she was spotted vacationing with Ryan and his parents for the first time. It’s been speculated that her increased visibility helped Shayna catch the eye of the modeling agency, so everything is going according to plan so far!

At that point, they denied being a couple, but they’re being decidedly more open now, with Shayna posting a picture of them on vacation in Europe together, and the two of them appearing at LAX and admitting to their relationship on camera. All pretty official and purposefully-executed for a casual relationship as far as I’m concerned, but what do I know? I’m only a fakelationship expert, y’know? I only do this FOR A LIVING.

Shayna says she is a ‘lucky girl’ and ‘it feels great’ to be Ryan’s girlfriend, but I think all you’ll have to do is take a quick glimpse at the video The Daily Mail has of her arriving at LAX to realize that there’s about as much passion in this relationship as there are hairs on Ryan’s head that have never known the kiss of bleach.

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    • Dawnie j

      is he gay – I know – do not say it – please – is he

    • Lily Savage

      Ryan Seacrest should start his own reality dating show about picking the perfect beard.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I would watch that.

    • M_G

      “…there’s about as much passion in this relationship as there are hairs on Ryan’s head that have never known the kiss of bleach.” HAHAHAHA!! Love this line. Stealing this line…….

    • Maria Guido

      Best headline, ever.

    • Matt Eddings

      This sounds like a staged Hollywood story line. Isn’t he gay? He should just admit it and be proud of who he is

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