Unlike American Women, Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Are Excited For Their Baby

Seven months pregnant? Try seven months old! JK dummies, this is from a movie.

Seven months pregnant? Try seven months old! JK dummies, this is from a movie.

(via)

Despite the fact that women across America are burning their uterus in protests, Eva Mendes is still, allegedly, pregnant with Ryan Gosling’s baby. Which is a shame, because we all know if he wasn’t with Eva, he would be with us. All of us. That’s always what Ryan Gosling said, “I’m either going to procreate with a beautiful celebrity or with the 99.9% of American women who don’t fall into that category. I’m an either/or kind of man. Now, who wants to see me naked?”

While the couple still hasn’t publicly confirmed the pregnancy rumors, People reports that they’re super jazzed about this baby. How does People know this. Well a source told them, duh! Who is the source? You and your pestering questions! Obviously, with a statement this bold and this out there, the source could not go on the record. What kind of person wants to be associated with telling the world that his friends are excited for their baby. A monster, that’s who!

“They literally could not be more excited,” says the source. “She’s feeling great.”

After reading this quote, you no doubt see why this person needed to remain nameless at all costs. You also no doubt feel your chances of ever having sex with Ryan Gosling slipping away. After all, if he actually wants this baby, he’s probably going to commit to it pretty hard. For at least, like, 18 or so years. And that definitely lessens the chances of him one day saving you from a speeding taxi, looking into your eyes, falling in love, whisking you away to a tropical island and dramatically taking off his shirt several times a day.

Ryan Gosling taking off his shirt hard abs

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Could life be more unfair? Then again, think about how awkward it will be for the Gosling baby when it realizes that its dad is hawt. Like real hawt. That’s something that us normals will never have to worry about.

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    • JenH1986

      Given that she did everything in her power to hide her belly the other day I’m actually inclined to believe this (the pregnancy, not the thrilled, no way to know about thrilled) because if she wasn’t why not just walk around…you know, not pregnant.

      • Jenni

        Did you see the photo yesterday?? Totes with child. (That’s how the hip doctors tell you that you’re pregnant now) http://www.tmz.com/2014/07/10/eva-mendes-pregnant-ryan-gosling-photo-pic-hide/

      • JenH1986

        That’s the photo I’m talking about! She could not possibly do more to hide that belly. If she wasn’t pregnant I feel like she’d have been strutting her stuff without 18 scarves and bags.

      • MCR

        I don’t know if that’s her intention. It looks like she’s trying to carry an armload of stuff. I mean, even famous pregnant ladies sometimes have stuff to carry, and when you carry an armload of something, it tends to cover your front side, including belly.

    • Prudence

      American women? More like women all over the world.

      • Jenni

        I was trying to make Eva feel more at ease. You know 3 billion enemies instead of 6 billion.

    • Fallopian Twerker Phillips

      “They literally could not be more excited,” says the source.
      If that’s LITERALLY true, then I’m literally a bit frightened. That level of excitement sounds taxing for a pregnant woman.
      #LITERALLY

      • Jenni

        Well now I’m picturing her doing nonstop cartwheels, only pausing to set off celebratory fireworks.

      • MCR

        Within limits set by her obstetrician, of course.

      • MCR

        I’m moderately excited to find another person who shares my feelings on the rampant misuse of the word “literally.”

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