• Fri, Jul 11 - 11:15 am ET

Kim Kardashian’s Advice To Pregnant Ladies Is To Stay Hidden Inside, You Monsters

Kim Kardashian bullyish to call a pregnant woman fat GIFPinnacle of Hollywood parenting Kim Kardashian has some excellent advice for all you pregnant ladies out there — stay hidden inside, you fat filthy cows. Get it? Got it? Good.

As she’s reminded us approximately ten thousand times a day ever since the moment that Kanye West‘s sperms took up residence in her uterus (guys, how do babies work?), she did not enjoy being pregnant. Like, at all. Not even for one minute. I mean, what is there to like? Your body changes, and all of a sudden another life is relying on you, and ew ew ew ew ew ew.

And if, like Kim, you reject the idea that you’re a different shape by refusing to change the way you dress, squeezing yourself into your old clothing is going to leave you looking like a very fashionable sausage casing. Which, as it happens, is a thing that some people are inclined to point out.

I don’t happen to be one of those people, because I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but you know who actually is one of those people? Kim Motherefffing Kardashian. Here’s the ‘pregnancy advice’ that she handed out during an interview with ELLE:

“I recommend hiding for a good year and having no pregnancy style. That’s what I recommend. If you can do it, hide. Never leave the house.”

OH HEY GIRL HI. Because most human beings living in the world have an extra nine months to bum around their house making zero income, right? What a working mom thing of her to say! She really does understand her fellow women, and has some cutting edge thoughts and ideas. We should start putting her quotes on buttons and marching on Washington. Even when her sisters Khloe and Kourtney tried to get her to back off a statement like that, she held firm, only making it worse by saying:

“That’s really my recommendation. Wear a huge blanket.”

You hear that, pregnant ladies? Cover yourselves up, you monsters? What are you thinking, stomping around where anybody could see you, turning stomachs left and right with your astonishing ability to nurture a human life inside your body.

So yeah, just let me know when you’ve got your huge blanket and your house arrest lined up, you pregnant abominations, and then I’ll put a nickel in Kim Kardashian and see if she can spit out any more humble truths of motherhood for us.

(Image: rebloggy)

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  • JenH1986

    Or just wear maternity clothes you like?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Haha yeah, there’s always that.

    • JenH1986

      I realize that takes logic, something the Kardashians lack but you know. I’m all about not sausaging my ass into uncomfortable clothing.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Nope, never.

  • Lily Savage

    Eva Mendes is obviously taking Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy advice.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yeah she is! Good call!

  • FemelleChevalier

    It’s cute how she thinks she’s giving a sane advice. It’s like seeing a toddler talk: the incoherent babbling is amusing and I want to pat her head for at least trying.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha yup, exactly.

    • marnijwebb

      just before I looked at the receipt ov $8130 , I
      didn’t believe that my sister woz like actualy bringing in money part-time from
      there pretty old laptop. . there aunts neighbour has been doing this 4 only
      about 22 months and at present repayed the mortgage on their appartment and
      bought themselves a Chrysler . see here C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­

  • JudyEauFraiche

    Oh, whatever. I don’t know why anyone is surprised that she feels this way when she was stalked by the press and labeled fat and ugly all through her pregnancy. So some (lots? most?) women feel strange and uncomfortable while pregnant. She deserves to be made fun of for not loving pregnancy? For wearing tight clothes? She can feel that pregnancy is unpleasant and uncomfortable all she wants. I’m right there with her. She’s obviously not saying that all women should *literally* hide away for their entire pregnancy, quit their jobs and become shut-ins, so stop insinuating that that’s what she meant. FFS.

    • Nbl

      No one is making fun of her for not loving being pregnant. People make fun of because for someone so image obsessed as her, she refused to wear clothes and shoes that accommodated her changing body. A lot of women don’t enjoy being pregnant but they don’t exasperate it by wearing clothes that make them uncomfortable.

    • I hate Alexis Rhiannon

      I have two children. I promise you there is no such thing as comfortable clothing while pregnant. Google image search of Kim Kardashian pregnant proves that she wore tasteful maternity wear. The “stuffed sausage” look you’re referring to is do to the fact that her clothing was ruched and not just a big flowing moo moo.

      I’m sure you would be image obsessed too if you were stalked everytime you left your home. If every article of clothing you wore was scrutinized. If your weight was widely discussed and you cannot trust that the people you feel closest to won’t run to Star Magazine after confiding in them your secret fears.

      Paparazzi and people like Alexis Rhiannon are what drives these celebrities to starvation dieting and cosmetic surgeries. Every article on this website by Alexis is just dripping with her unresolved mean girl complex. Nothing is safe from her. The series of articles she wrote about that Jonas baby being fake was sickening. She even went as far as to say she still thought it was faked even after the baby arrived… And why? Not because she actually experienced labor herself, but because of stereotypes she saw on movies. “That baby looks too big, she isn’t sweaty enough, why is she wearing earrings.” FFS, go see a therapist and stop putting your opinion on internet for impressional young teens to see.

    • Nbl

      You have two children. You claim to hate the author of this article, even go as far as to make an immature username to express that hate, yet still take the time to read and comment on her articles. And you called Kim’s maternity outfits “tasteful”. Yea…….. I don’t think Alexis is the one who needs therapy. Oh, while you’re doing that, see if you can get some sort of three for one deal. With your apparent pettiness and lack of maturity, your supposed children aren’t going to have an easy time growing up with a wonderful role model such as yourself.
      P.S You’re totally right! Look at all that ruching!

    • Quinn Skye

      Hey, come on. I agree with you completely, but you don’t know what sort of role model she is for her kids. Maybe the best, maybe the worst, but let’s not call each other bad moms. It’s so predictable.

    • Nbl

      I highly doubt she has kids.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Thanks for reading!

    • aliceblue

      The word you were attempting is “exacerbate” and yes, there are sadly many women out there who insist on squeezing into regular clothing because they don’t want too “look pregnant” or “wear those ugly maternity things” or think it is cute (these are not women who can’t afford to buy more clothes BTW).
      I’m not sure why people are so upset anyway. Did someone actually expect KK to say anything thoughtful or intelligent?

    • Emme

      I agree. I didn’t like the insinuation either that “another life is relying on [you],” which was trying to make her complaints seem petty. Pregnancy can be rough, and it’s an adjustment to start thinking of yourself in a new way, as not completely you anymore. It’s perfectly understandable. I also think Kim’s “throw a blanket over yourself” comment was just a jab at the paparazzi. She wasn’t writing a serious pregnancy advice book; she was just answering a question in a fashion magazine.

  • Nbl

    Great advice, Kim! May I add just one little thing specifically for yourself? How about not leaving your house period so we can all forget about you? Just a thought.

  • Wannabevenus

    And we care about what the Kardashians do and say because they do so much to improve the world? Or they’ve won a couple of Nobels or Pulizters? Or they’ve discovered a vaccine for HIV? Or found a cure for cancer? What? They’ve done NONE of these things? And they’re important and famous why??

  • Napoleon

    That’s actually pretty good advice for her. Maybe if she stays inside the house then she’ll spend some time with her daughter.

  • NYCNanny

    I’m no kardashian fan, but I took this quote as being really sad. She was obviously targeted and bullied while pregnant. By the paps. The magazines. By you guys!! It’s terribly sad that she had an unpleasant pregnancy…to the point where she wishes she stayed inside the entire time.

    • aliceblue

      I too am not a fan (I find the crew of them loathsome in general) but I also read it as “I was so miserable that I wish I could have stayed home for a year.” While some of her misery was no doubt due to her notoriety, she is in no way the only woman to hate pregnancy, with all its loss of control of one’s body as it goes about some rather unpleasant physical changes and the public scrutiny. A good friend of mine, who never complained about delivery and who LOVED bfing also HATED being pregnant.

    • GV

      the only reason KK exists is because of voluntary publicity and exposure. Any attention is good attention for her and her gazillion dollar empire. It is absolutely in her power to have a mundane, quiet, unexposed pregnancy– do you think she would have liked that? Moreso than any actress/musician/entertainer/public figure she CHOSE to have her life on display (literally) so she could profit from it. It was her husband who begged Madame Wintour for an invite to the Met Ball so she could wear the dress that made her look like a vintage couch and work it on the red carpet. She could have propped up her feet and stayed inside instead just like she says she wanted to right? KK is not chasing movie scripts or record deals– every magazine cover or reference she gets is another day of her in our brains and another payday in her pocket for continued relevance. Similar to her response to complaints of cultural appropriation and insensitivity due to the HIGHLY self-publicized Native American teepee and headdresses present at her daughter’s party– who CARES about her feelings (which are contrived and fake anyways).

  • http://plakatyfilmowe.blogspot.com/ Mierzwiak

    What’s her IQ, 10?

  • Pingback: Kim Kardashian Defends Her Statement On Pregnant Women

  • Sierra

    She tweeted that her statement was sarcasm…so of course everyone will blow it out of proportion as usual….

  • Pinke

    I seriously don’t get the Kim hate. Her comments are obviously in jest, like, Jesus Christ how dare she not like being pregnant whilst being stalked all day every day by paps and ballooning desote eating healthily and exercising moderately as pregnant women are always told to.

    She doesn’t parade her child on TV like some celebrities do, she even made it a point not to have North in the limelight. She spends plenty of time with her child, but because she doesn’t spend 24 hours a day with her she’s some kind of bitch?

    What is wrong with the people who demonise her. What has she done to attract such ire?

    You know what she’s done to NOT deserve hate? Donated millions to needy charities. Her family regularly helps in soup kitchens and other worthy causes.

    The only members of this family that deserve any hate are the two youngest, for being spoilt neglectful brats. Seriously, one of them has a dog that she lets live in squalor and it’s own filth because she’s too busy being a model. Where’s the hate for her?

    Of cours there’s silence. It’s only cool to hate on Kim for poking fun and tiny mistakes. But remain silent about all the good she’s done.

  • MCR

    That seems like a very Victorian attitude to pregnancy. Or else it was witty satire. Which seems less unlikely?

  • CRod

    Kim definitely got a lot of crap for the way she looked while pregnant. But she did not dress for her bump at all. This is why she got so much crap and is suggesting pregnant women stay in house to avoid ridicule. I am currently pregnant with my first kid and I noticed on the days that I wear non maternity clothes I look bigger than I am and its very unflattering. When I wear maternity clothes I look much better. The maternity clothes hugs your belly so it doesn’t look like you’re trying to hide your belly, but actually accentuate the shape. Kim did not do this. So she looked big, unshapely, and just flat out ridiculous in some of her clothes options. Hence people making fun of her and her thinking that you should just stay in the house. Oh Kim….you ignorant woman….