Lindsay Lohan Is Already Ruining Rehearsals, So We Need A New Word For ‘Duh’

Lindsay Lohan falling upside down in trash can Mean Girls GIFWhen Lindsay Lohan was cast in a live theater show a couple weeks ago, I think everyone realized what an insane, doomed plan that was. Except the director apparently, who’s getting quite the wake up call right about now.

The show is David Mamet’s Speed The Plow, and it’s scheduled to open in September, directed by Lindsay Posner. But we shouldn’t be worried about any of those pesky old details, because there’s honestly no way that LiLo is gonna make it that far with the production. I honestly can’t even believe she made it through the casting stages, given her track record for being unreliable. Actually no, scratch that — she’s very reliable. We can rely with absolute certainty on the fact that she will fail to follow through with her obligations. Because she always does.

Which is why anyone who has eyes and ears and access to the internet won’t be shocked that according to sources at Radar Online, Lindsay is off the wagon, and has been staying out late clubbing at places like Whiskey Mist and Chiltern Firehouse, only to show up late and under-prepared to rehearsals. Which is understandably irritating to every other person in the world…but mostly the ones working on this project.

“The cast is already really annoyed. The director told her that, basically, it’s a one-strike deal; if she misses one more practice or comes in late again, she’s done.”

Wait wait wait, I know this one. She…continues to come in late and is inexplicably given ten more strikes than the one she was supposedly allotted. And then when she does inevitably get fired from this production, she takes about thirty seconds to turn around and say it wasn’t a good artistic environment and they were taking advantage and blah blah blah.

Try to change your game up a little, Lindsay, because you keep forgetting that we’ve seen this one before.

(Image: survivingcollege)

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    • capoupascap

      I’ve read the producers/directors cast her because they thought everybody would come see it. So I wanna say you get what you stunt casted for, but I’d be so angry if I was an actor/actress in the play and had to deal with these shenanigans. I don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell she opens this play.

      • TJ

        I feel like the producers/directors are exactly right that people would come see her in it because we all know this is going to be an unmitigated disaster. And who doesn’t want to watch a train crash?

    • Alana Vincenza

      I understand why people stunt cast (even if I hate it)…but they were just asking for this to happen. No sympathy for whoever cast this.

    • JenH1986

      I’m very unfamiliar with theater but given what I’ve read (firing of Shia LaBeouf) etc. I feel like the theater might be less forgiving than film. They can’t edit her shit performances and with opening night less than 8 weeks away I’d say they can’t wait much longer to get her understudy or a different actress geared up. But that suggests logic and real world consequences. Which we all know doesn’t exist in the entertainment industry.

    • bea

      Whenever I see any news about Lindsay Lohan I always think about that Cracked article where the actor who played Matilda talks about the dangers of child stardom, about how child stars stick to acting even when they screw up epically because they never knew anything else. Specifically she says that if she could talk to Lohan directly she’d tell her to get out of acting and find another career.

      • Cabbie

        Botany! Classic article.