Congratulations to Kourtney Kardashian, who just became my favorite Kardashian by default, purely because no photos of her have puzzled or terrified me in the past twenty-four hours. Keep up the
good adequate work, Kourtney!
Khloe, on the other hand, has some splainin’ to do after appearing in one of her boyfriend French Montana‘s Instagram photos wearing a mask and brandishing a gun. Y’know, as you do. (Or as she does, anyway. Why so many gun pics lately, girl? What’s got you so
down desperate for attention?) And not just any mask — a supremely creepy one. On a scale from one to ‘I’m in your bedroom watching you sleep’, this is coming in hard on the latter end of the spectrum.
But honestly, what are they doing? I wouldn’t be shocked if they snapped this selfie while on the way to rob a bank. That’s the only place I can think of where you’d need a gun and a V For Vendetta mask, y’know? Given, you probably wouldn’t want to take a picture of yourself about to do that, but how would Khloe know that? Her whole life has been televised!!!!
Oh and I should also note that the caption on the above photo is #dontpanic. HASHTAG DON’T PANIC. Which is ironic, because in science experiments that I’ve done on myself over the years, 100% of Alexises become suspicious and slightly panicky 100% of the time when presented with the phrase ‘don’t panic’. Why shouldn’t I panic? You’re covering your faces with scary doll masks and brandishing very large guns. Personally, I think this is the perfect opportunity to panic.