Cue up the sound of dried up ovaries banging against each other in a forgotten womb because Justin Theroux just said that he’s never going to marry Jennifer Aniston. Okay fine, you caught me. He didn’t say that. But he did tell Good Morning America today that he’s loving being engaged to Jennifer Aniston. Which is obvious to us because they’ve been engaged for two years. Which is 5000 years in HollywoodLand Time. In two years they could’ve easily married, divorced and rebounded with someone inappropriately aged.
“This birthday, I think, will be just cakes and, you know, who knows? We’ll see,” he said, chuckling, on Good Morning America in an interview that aired on Thursday, July 10. “It’s hard to top after the proposal. We’re also loving the engagement as well.”
The engagement mostly likely came up in the interview because it’s Justin’s most popular project to date. Followed by “dating Jennifer Aniston” and his earliest work, “being seen with Jennifer Aniston.” Rumor has it that he’s also in HBO’s new show, Leftovers. But I doubt that role will garner him anywhere near as much attention as playing “Jennifer Aniston’s Fiance” has. And he knows it. Hence why he’s stretching this engagement out so much. Again, I’ll remind you it’s been two years. And yes, I am engagement-length shaming.
While I respect his commitment to the “fiance” role, I think it’s time that he consider wrapping up this movie and moving onto the sequel. After all, playing “the father to Jennifer Aniston’s long awaited baby” could be an award-winning role… if there was an award for fathering a baby who received fourteen billion tabloid covers before conception even occurred.
(Photo: Michael Carpenter/WENN.com)