Let’s all stand up and start a slow clap for J.K. Rowling, who wrote a follow-up to Harry Potter in the form of a parody article in the Daily Prophet, written by our old friend Rita Skeeter . PRAISE YOU J.K.
There’s something to be said for knowing what the people want, and then giving it to them, so thank you, J.K.. All I want in the world is to be my twelve-year old self again with a brand-new hardcover copy of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire and a weekend at the beach house ahead of me. I could genuinely tear up right now if somebody needed me to, that’s how much these books meant to me.
And I’m hoping to a lot of other people as well, and that you’ll be just as psyched as I was to find out what your favorite characters have been up to since we last saw them waving goodbye to the next adorably-named generation of Potters and Weasleys on the train platform for the Hogwarts Express. The full version is on Pottermore, but in case you aren’t a nerd with a subscription to that site (like I am), here are the highlights of where everybody ended up:
- Harry has little lines of silver through his hair and a nasty cut on his cheekbone from his work as an Auror.
- Ginny has been on assignment reporting on the Quidditch World Cup – which overlaps beautifully and hilariously with our very own Muggle World Cup.
- Ron set out to work at the Ministry Of Magic alongside Harry, but left two years later to co-manage Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes with his brother George. His hair is also starting to thin slightly, because between Harry and Ron, you knew Harry was going to have the more impressive and distinguished head of hair.
- Hermione is currently the Deputy Head of the Department Of Magical Law Enforcement after a ‘meteoric rise’, and is slated to move up even further, although Rita reminds us that her hair is still a frizzy abomination.
- Neville teaches Herbology at Hogwarts, and his wife Hannah is currently a Healer, but applying for the job of Matron, also at Hogwarts. Until recently, they lived above the Leaky Cauldron.
- We don’t get much of an update on Luna other than the fact that she’s ‘sweeping around the VIP section’ in eccentric robes and that she left her twin sons at home with their grandfather.
- Charlie Weasley is still unmarried, and Percy is the Head of the Department of Magical Transportation, and Bill and Fleur are still married. (No divorces in the magical world, I guess?)
- And speaking of Bill and Fleur, their daughter Victoire has apparently been getting quite friendly with Teddy Lupin, Remus and Tonks‘ son, who is currently sporting blue hair.
And there you have it! Ugh, I love me some J.K. Rowling. If you’re somehow near enough to her to give the old gal a hug, please do so now.