It’s a scientific fact that people who are easy on the eyes have easier life paths. I know this to be true because an unlicensed therapist told me this once, so don’t try to dispute it. This statement can be especially true when it comes to attention-seeking, self-destructive, obnoxious celebrities! People seem to forget that a famous person can be attractive and a total douche. One doesn’t cancel out the other! (Yes, faithful members of Bieber Youth, I’m talking to you.)
Here is my list of celebrities we have an easy time forgiving–and an even easier time forgetting their dark deeds–because they happen to be conventionally attractive. Sigh.
1. Alec Baldwin
He used to just be that handsome, funny guy who hosted SNL a lot and eloquently-but-hilariously tore down politicians and other celebrities we can’t stand. Now he’s an aging, desperate-for-attention, self-awareness-lacking, hate speech-filled, Twitter-ranting, verbally and physically abusive guy who’s married to a “I didn’t even know who he was when I met him because what are celebrities and now I host a tabloid TV show and have tens of thousands of Twitter followers” wife, undoubtedly a perfect match.
2. Britney Spears
Far be it from me to come down on someone for having a mental breakdown, which is exactly what happened to Britney back in 2007. But this is someone who has demonstrated more than a few times she might not be showbiz material anymore (which would be completely fine if we all just accepted it and let her be). Quit trying to make Britney happen, everyone. She’s probably not going to happen.
3. Russell Crowe
What’s a few phones thrown at photographers when you’re a ruggedly handsome Australian? Abuse, schmabuse. His temper is almost as terrifying as his singing voice in Les Mis.
4. Kim Kardashian
She demands attention and we keep giving it to her, so who knows where the fault realy lies. But you can bet your bottom dollar that we’d be a little less forgiving of her stupidity, porn star status, and cultural appropriation parties if she wasn’t incredibly good looking.
5. Colin Farrell
Guys like this are always dubbed things like “Hollywood bad boys” as though they’re characters in a Jackie Collins novel and we’re all just drooling over their law-breaking antics. Riddle me this – would we be so quick to get over his probable alcoholism and subsequent run-ins with the law if he looked like Steve Buscemi? Probs not.
6. Katherine Heigl
Rumored to be a notorious, insufferable bitch on set and off, Katherine Heigl will probably never be fully removed from Hollywood and the rom-coms she detests so much because she’s insanely beautiful. Not. Fair.
7. Justin Bieber
While this particular little asshole does nothing for me or my ladyparts, he apparently revs a lot of teenage girls’ budding hormone-fueled engines. I will admit he has a particularly pretty face, so there’s that. All I can say is I hope if I ever have a daughter some day, I raise her to be smarter than to find guys like this “dreamy.” Gag.
8. Lindsay Lohan
Look, her heyday has come and gone. Post Mean Girls, though, Lindsay was a hot commodity for sexist men’s magazines and radio personalities to talk about. She’s not unattractive now, per se, but she’s looking a little… weathered. That being said, if she didn’t show off well-lit selfies and a little sideboob now and then, we’d probably have written her off for good a loooonnng time ago.
9. Christian Bale
Another verbal abuser who gets in physical altercations! But he’s Batman and looks really good in a suit, so all is forgiven. I’m just as guilty as anyone else with him, though, because regardless of his sketchy behavior the second I saw him posing for pics with those Aurora shooting victims I melted into a puddle of “awwww.”
10. Adam Levine
See? SEE? You can be conventionally attractive (not my particular cup of tea, but you know) AND a total douche bag! He’s even admitted he’s a douche! But ladies love this guy and seem to not be bothered by his irritating personality.
I mean, come on. If she looked like a total Monet (know your Clueless references, people) she wouldn’t have been able to pull of this look. And we’d probably be wayyyy tired of her by now, what with being late for concerts and getting back together with Chris Brown.
12. Selena Gomez
She can’t really sing that well, and her acting is… well, come on. There’s no way she’d be anybody if she wasn’t so pretty. Not to mention breaking up and reuniting with #7 on this list every other day. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up having a Britney-ish meltdown before the end of the year.
13. Naomi Campbell
This woman has been the instigator of many a physical altercation, cat fight, and overall bitchery more times than I can count. But she’s a super model, and super gorgeous, so who cares, right?
14. Paul Walker
Oh Paul. I’m not usually one to “speak ill of the dead”, but just because people die doesn’t mean they weren’t flawed human beings. He was a beautiful, beautiful man and I loved his performance in Pleasantville (though not much else), but he also had a penchant for dating younger girls. Like, really young. Like teenagers. More than once. In no way is it ever acceptable for a man in his thirties to start a “relationship” with a girl who’s 16. I don’t care what her parents thought about it, I don’t care what you think about it. It. Is. Not. Okay. But everyone rushed to his defense immediately, and I think it had a lot more to do with the fact that he was gorgeous and not because he was actually in the right. /end rant.