Welcome to the Internet, where you can stare at a photo of Rihanna holding a baby while topless. What a time to be alive. You might hear “topless” and “baby” and think, “Did Rihanna give birth when I wasn’t paying attention and start breastfeeding?” Nope. It’s actually her newborn niece, a baby I’m assuming Rihanna is not breastfeeding. But she still made sure to be topless for the photo. Because obviously.
What does a non-topless Rihanna even look like? I’ve forgotten. Does she even own shirts? Shirts that aren’t sheer and nipple-baring, I mean. I’m beginning to think she and Justin Bieber need a joint shirtervention followed by a trip to the mall. I’m also just really trying to figure out the context surrounding the taking of this photo. Was she already topless before the photo? Or did someone say, “Hey it would be cute if you posed with the baby,” and Rihanna was like, “Okay, hold on a second. I have to take my shirt off first.” Is she like those people who remove all their clothes just to go to the bathroom?
Of course, Rihanna did use the hashtag “#twinzies” in her Twitter post of the photo. She must have seen that the baby wasn’t wearing a shirt, and instead of putting a shirt on the baby to make them match, she just decided to take her own shirt off. Or, you know what, I’m clearly overthinking this. It’s so obvious that Rihanna is the victim of an evil sea witch’s dark spell, and in exchange for a beautiful robot voice, she must be partially naked as often as possible. Or else all the petals on the rose will fall before her 21st birthday and… wait, I’m getting things confused now.
Rihanna really likes being topless a lot. Let’s just leave it at that.