We have breaking news from OK Magazine today, who has found proof that Ellen Page and Shailene Woodley are involved in a steamy lesbian relationship. Oh I’m sorry, did I say ‘proof’? What they actually found is a photo of the two women standing next to each other, but close enough, right?
No I’m serious, that’s actually all they have to go on. The title of the article is ‘Are Shailene Woodley And Ellen Page Dating?’ and instead of the entire body of the piece being just the word ‘no’, which would probably have been more accurate, they go on to support their claim with pieces of evidence as convincing as Ellen Page having come out as gay and Shailene never having come out as straight:
‘Shailene hinted at bisexuality recently, saying she loves people based on who they are, “not their sex”.’
Compelling, no?? But the plot thickens! Apparently Ellen and Shailene have been friends for years and ‘things have turned romantic’. How romantic, you ask? Well, they had lunch together, and according to a source:
“Ellen really leaned on Shailene through the coming out process.”
Shoot, guys, I’m convinced! This magazine has totally earned their claim that Ellen has ‘snagged an A-List girlfriend’, because everyone knows that the closer in proximity you are to a lesbian, the more likely you are to turn into one yourself and abandon the years-long platonic relationship that you’d established with that person.
Just look at the way Shailene’s crouching down like that! She’s got a case of the gay legs for sure. It’s just lousy with proof of a relationship in here! Just like that time we noticed that Ellen and Alexander Skarsgard were wearing matching shoes, and figured out that that meant they were IN LOVE. That rumor endured for like two years, up until the point that Ellen came out, so we’re totally killing it with the guessing games so far. Keep at it!