• Tue, Jul 1 - 2:11 pm ET

11 Times Robin Thicke Thought He Was More Talented Than He Is

Robin Thicke Creepy Smile Rose

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I have learned in under just one year that Robin Thicke is under the impression that Robin Thicke is a lot more talented than he really is. Sure, at one point, he wrote and sang fantastic love songs in that falsetto voice that was slightly grating but excusable. But now, he spends his days doing questionable things that his level of talent can’t excuse. And I’m calling him out on it.

So, in honor of his release of the album that will make our great-grandchildren cringe, Paula, here are 11 times that Robin Thicke was convinced that he was way more talented than he actually is.

1. That time he thought a song would fix his marriage.

Robin Thicke Paula Patton Smile

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And thus, “Get Her Back” was born, and we were doomed to watch him cry pathetically on stage while wincing from secondhand embarrassment.

2. That time he thought an album would fix his marriage.

Robin Thicke Blurred Lines What Rhymes With Hug Me

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Because, if his estranged wife, Paula Patton, wasn’t already swooning at the first song, surely 13 more about the same effing thing would do the trick!

3. That time he thought #AskThicke wouldn’t be a total disaster.

Robin Thicke At The Grammy's Singing

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No worries, things went downhill so drastically that I’m assuming that it didn’t take long for him to realize that he’d made a huge mistake à la Arrested Development.

4. That time he thought he could get away with blaming Miley Cyrus for the VMAs fiasco.

Miley Cyrus Robin Thicke VMAS 2013

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I’m guessing the logic was that if he just quietly agreed with everyone else who was attacking only Miley for the performance, he could buy himself some time to work on even more rape-y projects.

5. That time he thought he should make a music video featuring naked ladies and his toddler.

Robin Thicke I Got A Kiss For Ya

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“Everyone will be so blinded by my sheer talent and ability to always be wearing sunglasses that they won’t realize what kind of party I’ve brought my 3-year-old to.” – Robin

6. That time he pre-sued Marvin Gaye over a song he’d copied from Marvin.

Robin Thicke Wink

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The music industry works in strange ways.

7. That time he thought Paula Patton wouldn’t notice he put their private texts in his music video.

Robin Thicke Getting Slapped

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I’m pretty sure he included texts that they’d had in private in his music video in an attempt to win her back. This logic isn’t even backward, it’s just nonexistent.

8. That time he thought no one would make a big deal about the photo of him grabbing Not Paula’s butt

Robin Thicke Give It 2 U Kiss

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“It’s just a joke, you guys! I am almost engaging in a sexual act with this stranger while clearly wearing my wedding band as a gag! Just go listen to my song and forget about it.” – Also Robin

9. That time he thought he could be a movie star and was the worst.

Robin Thicke Music Video Drinking

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Robin had previously appeared on BET’s Real Husbands of Hollywood, which I’m guessing gave him the confidence to make the leap from sort of bad TV to really bad movies. 

10. That time he thought that several public apologies would be a solution to private issues. 

Robin Thicke Singing Dancing

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I genuinely can’t stress enough how little sense it makes that Robin keeps subjecting the whole world to his apology-fest. It’s just so embarrassing for everyone involved which, unfortunately, includes every person with access to a TV or a radio.

11. Those times he thought no one would mind him spelling his song titles like internet slang.

Robin Thicke Lost Without U

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“Give It 2 U,” “4 The Rest Of My Life,” “Lost Without You,” “Shakin’ It 4 Daddy” (ew), just to name a few. It literally doesn’t matter how great you think you sound on a song if the title of it and all of your other songs R Spelled Like Dis.

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  • Alana Vincenza

    His new album is basically like musical harassment. Paula, you in danger, girl.

    • Olivia Wilson

      His next album is set to be titled Paula U Have 2 Believe Me, Ur Not In Danger.

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    I still believe this whole breakup with the wife is just a publicity stunt. As soon as his douchey album sells millions – which it will because most Americans are musically illiterate morons who love a great rape song – they’ll magically get back together.

    • Olivia Wilson

      That’s a good point. Although, it’s probably time to throw it in if you have to pretend to break up your family to sell some music.

  • Valerie

    He gives me the biggest case of the douche chills that I have ever had. And that’s saying something.

    • Olivia Wilson

      It’s that first GIF at the top, right? I just know it.

    • Valerie

      Shudders

  • Henry Westwood

    My Name is Emil.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single…when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he gonna help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Us the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday…My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com.Once Again His Email Address Is: agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com

  • James

    Funny how with one song he went from the respectable, lovable r&b whiteboy who can sing his ass off to a pop susperstar and a feminist’s worst nightmare. I think every RT controversy has been overblown but I guess fame is the devil.