• Tue, Jul 1 - 9:42 am ET

Melissa McCarthy Is Appropriately Furious Over Susan Sarandon’s Level Of Attractiveness

Melissa McCarthy Jimmy Kimmel Live June 2014

I think we can all agree that some people in Hollywood are just too attractive. This is especially true when they get into their 60s and still appear as if looking directly at them in real life would be like staring at a solar eclipse. Melissa McCarthy recently worked with Susan Sarandon on her new movie Tammy, and she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to talk about the experience. Namely the experience of being in the presence of Sarandonian beauty.

Melissa seems appropriately outraged over how gorgeous Susan is. I mean, I think we can all agree that that woman is simply too attractive for her own good. The problem this attractiveness caused on the set of their movie was that Susan was supposed to be playing Melissa’s frumpy grandma, so a lot of work went into covering up her radiance. She even needed to wear fake ankles, because her own were simply too stunning to be believable. Extremely unprofessional.

But what was even more rude of Susan was that she was often simply too glowy for the cameras. You know about glowiness, right? It’s the thing infomercials say you can achieve by purchasing their skincare products, but only a select few humans actually possess the glowiness gene. One of those humans is Susan Sarandon, and she just looked too good for the scenes to work. I imagine it was a situation where Susan’s shimmering inner light created lens flares, and because Tammy is not a J.J. Abrams production, that simply wouldn’t do. Obviously we must all band together to stop Susan Sarandon and her lens flare beauty before she causes the rest of us to shrivel up like non-glowy prunes just by sharing the same planet as her. Let me know if you think I’ve gone too far with this.

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