Kelly Osbourne got a new tattoo this weekend, and it’s definitely… interesting. “Interesting” is the word I use for things I do not like but want to be polite about, in case you were planning to have an in depth discussion with me about just how fascinating and thought-provoking this tattoo is. If, however, you want to throw out ideas about what in the world possessed her to do this, then please go for it.
My first two theories are “lost a World Cup bet” and “was drunk.” But it would seem that Kelly just really wanted the word “Stories” inked into the side of her shaved head in every emo 14-year-old’s favorite typewriter font to use when they’re making collages. I like the addition of the ellipsis as well. Very artsy. Oh the stories Kelly has to tell. Specifically stories about getting the word “Stories” tattooed on her head. How utterly meta.
In addition to posting Instagram shots, Kelly tweeted about the tattoo, which was done by Dr Woo at Mark Mahoney’s Shamrock Social Club in West Hollywood. She was sure to apologize to her parents for the decision. Hmm, something tells me Mr. and Mrs. Prince of Darkness wouldn’t be too upset about this kind of thing.
Sorry mum and dad but I love it! pic.twitter.com/xIiMwIJBT9
— Kelly Osbourne (@KellyOsbourne) June 29, 2014
And sure, you can go on and on about the fact that Kelly’s hair will eventually grow out and cover the tattoo anyway, but to that I ask, “What is the point, pray tell?” Is it really worth having a needle in your scalp just so you can tell people, “I totally have a badass tattoo under all this hair, but you just can’t see it”? Is it, Kelly? Is it? If it is, then more power to you. If it were me, though, I would have made the tattoo say “secrets,” so when my hair grew out I could say it was “full of secrets.” You gotta think these things through, Kel.