• Sun, Jun 29 - 9:00 am ET

These Photos Of Miley Cyrus And Her New Dog Are Totally Inappropriate In The Best Way


I already know what you’re thinking, and I admit the same thoughts came to my own mind. “Miley Cyrus has another new dog? Didn’t one of her dogs just die tragically? Didn’t her mom try to make up for being a shitty parent by being a stupid one and giving her a puppy like five seconds later? And, like, didn’t she give that one away because she wasn’t ready?”  Yes, Gentle Reader, to all of the above.  If you’re a little apprehensive about what this means for her new furry friend, you’re not alone – it is Miley we’re talking about here, after all.  But let’s not rush to judgement…at least not before we ogle the amazing photos she shared of the new pup, adorably (and oddly) named Emu.

She captioned the above photo with a long, kinda warbly, kinda high-sounding, kinda heartfelt message:

“time to start making Emu accounts smilers. Hes here and here to stay. time to start making Emu accounts smilers. Hes here and here to stay. I welcomed Emu Coyne Cyrus into the family a couple days ago. Been keepin him a secret cause sometimes I’m weird like that. It’s taken some time to be ready for this next step and loving again. There will never be anyone like Floyd. There was a bond that was so deep it’s irreplaceable but that’s not what I am trying to do. Never will I replace Floyd and that’s something I had to take time to understand. we had a very special memorial service for Floyd and I felt my angel Floydy give Emu his blessing. I prayed to Floyd to just give him a touch of his awesomeness and he has. He is so special and different than my baby Floyd and I think Floyd did that on purpose. But sometimes he does little things that remind me of him and it makes me smile. I’m blissed the out right now. I feel like this is a new beginning in so many ways. I feel a change coming on”

Yeah… that’s a lot to digest. And Miley’s kind of all over the place right now, what with her tour and club-hopping all over Europe with her young, teenage sister and whatnot, so it’s probably easy to rush to judgement over this. Especially considering Miley’s dogs have met tragic ends in the past, which is kind of concerning.  But I can’t judge her, because I lost my dog last summer and I never would have imagined I could have “replaced” the dog I spent a decade of my life loving and caring for (I won custody of her in my parents’ really awesome divorce).  But I got a new dog about two months later, mostly because: a.) the despair of a dog-less house for the first time in my life was quite honestly a lot to bear every waking minute of every day; b.) I hated watching Downton Abbey re-runs alone on the couch; and c.) my new dog’s face is just so dang cute and I couldn’t resist.  I get it, girl.  I really do.

So let’s just enjoy these photos of Emu instead, whaddya say?

Showering…naked…outside… with your dog. Okay. I always pegged Miley for an attachment parent!

LOLOLOLOL. If you don’t absolutely love this, you’re either a liar or a serial killer.

WHAT IS THIS APP WHERE I CAN PUT GEMSTONES ON MY DOG’S FACE AND HOW DO I GET IT. PLEASE AND THANKS.

Ah, Godspeed Emu Cyrus.

Share This Post:
  • C

    It looks like she’s wearing a bathing suit, not naked, outside.. am I wrong?

    • XxdiexforxyouxX

      That was my thought also. Picking up a pet naked just seems like a bad idea anyway. One slip and you have scratches all over.

  • Lily Savage

    I just want to cuddle him!! (And I want that app too)

  • Jesse

    She’s not naked, you can see the bathing suit strings tied on the back of her neck… Really surprised the writer missed this, and she’s female too. Maybe just projecting her own perverted thoughts is all. There is nothing inappropriate here.