Did you guys hear the news? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner landed their own Netflix series! Yeah, and the working title is aptly namedÂ Dysfunction Is The New Black (DITNB for short). Â No but in all seriousness, I’m not sure if I can think of a more resentful celebrity couple. Â Not only do their live interviews on national television reek of disdain, but they also don’t try to hide the fact that Ben has a gambling problem (in his defense, it probably keeps him from cheating) and Jennifer isn’t allowed to have male friends. Sounds super healthy to me! Â Apparently Mark Ruffalo doesn’t agree, because I guess has a “happy”Â marriage or something (eye roll… as if).
During his recent appearance onÂ Watch What Happens LiveÂ (commonly known as the show where celebrities spill secrets over cocktails and Andy Cohen‘s seersucker pants), a fan called in and asked Mark Ruffalo if he kept in contact with Jennifer Garner afterÂ 13 Going on 30, he got kind of grim and admitted that he didn’t.
“We had a great time together, and I think we would, but then Ben came on the scene and that was the end of that.”
Andy Cohen then joked that Ben “doesn’t allow Jennifer to have male friends”, but Mark pled the fifth and intimated that may just be the case. Â Which is totally normal and not at all a red flag that things were probably unhealthy from the get-go over 10 years ago! I don’t know about you, but I am super disappointed Jenna and Matty aren’t still friends, sharing Razzles at the park while they watch their kids play together. Boo.
So if you’ve been paying attention along with us, you know this is just the icing on top of the cake of their marriage issues lately: Ben seems to have a serious gambling problem, they both got kicked out of a Vegas casino, they both love to give passive-aggressive answers about their marriage, and of course this all started with Ben’s Oscar acceptance speech that made the entire world shift uncomfortably in their seats.
I think at this point I think even Tori and Dean might have a better shot at achieving a functional relationship. Â Get it together, Garner-Afflecks!