10 Reasons Why You Should Want To Bang Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny Oh Yeah playing trumpet

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Girl Meets World finally premieres tonight. After hearing about this Boy Meets World sequel for years, we’re finally getting to see it on our TVs. Even though I’m expecting it to be a huge disappointment that will ruin my entire childhood and force me into nostalgia-based therapy, I’m obviously still going to watch. After all, I do owe something to the show that gave me my first TV ladyboner — Mr. George Feeny. Can I get a hubba hubba up in here? (Also a walker, all these hubba hubbas totally tucker him out.)

While the rest of the world mailed their first Limited Too bras to Shawn Hunter, I had my eyes on only man. One very, very old man. I know, I can hear you muttering “sicko!” to yourself. But please, hear me out on why being attracted to Mr. Feeny actually makes total sense.

1. He likes cutesy nicknames

Feeny call eric matthews mr feeny boy meets world (via)

Everyone knows the best part of having a boyfriend is getting to call him things that make everyone who overhears you want to yak. You can say his nickname as loud and as many times as you want and he’ll never, ever get sick of it.

2. He has no issues saying the L-word

I love you all mr feeny empty classroom boy meets world

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In fact, he has so few issues saying the L-word that he’ll say to everyone and everything. I love you too, desks. I love you too.

3. He looks real good in a sweater

mr. feeny hero boy meets world

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There’s no point in having a boyfriend if you can’t dress him up like an LL Bean model in the fall and pretend he just got back from chopping wood.

4. He’s good at saying things that sound deep

Mr. Feeny quote cory matthews boy meets world

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The only thing better than a thoughtful boyfriend is one who speaks in thoughtful-sounding quotes.

5. He’s a wonderful dancer

mr. feeny dancing bitch im fabulous

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Turtleneck? Check! Ironed Khakis? Check! Moves that make me want to make his babies? ALL THE CHECKS!

6. He’s spontaneous!

Mr. Feeny mr. turner naked in the woods quote

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Yeah, I’d like to see his willy-nilly. In the woods. Without its clothes on. Mr. Turner can watch. (You know Mr. Turner’s a watcher. Also a surprisingly good custodial guardian for abandoned children with good hair.)

7. He hates divorce

divorce is devastating to everyone involved mr. feeny quote boy meets world

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A guy who hates divorce loves commitment by default. Even if your relationship hits rock bottom and you hate each other’s guts and the thought of seeing the other person naked makes you want to drive your car over a cliff, you’ll still be in a relationship. And that’s what it’s all about, right?

8. He’s understands that communication is key

mr. feeny cory matthews relationship advice boy meets world

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Try giving this guy the silent treatment for forgetting your anniversary and/or forgetting to ask you how brunch with the girls went. He’s all like, “do you want to talk about it?” and you’re all like, “really baby?” and he’s all like, “it’s always advisable to keep the lines of communication open.”

10. He’s dangerous

mr. feeny shooting a nerf gun boy meets world

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Moooove over Danny Zuko, there’s a new bad apple in town. And this one comes with a gun. As well as years and years of wisdom. Also a group of children that he follows around from school to school to school.

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    • Olivia Wilson

      Would you call him Mr. Feeny because you have to, or because it keeps things spicy?

      • Jenni

        Keep things spicy, duh. JUST KIDDING. Mr. Feeny get heartburn from spicy foods.

      • Olivia Wilson

        And also from teaching the same set of students for one million years in a row.

      • Jenni

        stalking students alllll the way to college is stressful

    • M_G

      Jenni, on a scale of “reciting Proust from memory” to “reciting Proust from memory while naked”, what level of foreplay would you expect?

      • Jenni

        OOOooooO, great question! I’m going to have to go with “reciting Proust from memory while naked, but still wearing socks.” You?

      • M_G

        Oh, good choice! I would have to say, “reciting Proust from memory while wearing form-fitting long-john underwear with the butt flap open”.

      • Jenni

        Giirrrrllll, you’re into some kinky shit.

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