Orange is the New Black seems to have a pretty fun cast, so obviously the stories they tell about their time on the set are pretty fun as well. Take, for instance, the story Dascha Polanco and Matt McGorry told about one of Daya and Bennett’s sex scenes. It involves a banana, so you know it’s good. To borrow an Arrested Development adage, there’s always humor in the banana story. (That was terrible and I apologize.)
If you’ve caught up on the show’s second season, you’ve seen the scene where Daya is giving Bennett a handjob in the closet. Entertainment Weekly was at the recent OITNB press day, where Dascha and Matt shared behind-the-scenes scoop about exactly how they pulled it off. And It. Is. Amazing. Here’s what they had to say:
Polanco: “I have no rhythm when I’m giving a fake—”
McGorry: “An air job.”
Polanco: “The point was that I was not on rhythm, so they’re like, can you do it this way, can you do it that way? And I’m just like, I can’t…So they give me a banana. I get the banana, and I’m like, ‘great.’ We stick it in his pants—” [turning to McGorry] “—remember I was like, poking you with the banana?”
McGorry: “Right. It was chaffing my upper pubis.”
Polanco: “Your mons pubis.”
McGorry: “My mons pubis, because of the hard part of the banana. You know how bananas work, the anatomy of a banana.”
Polanco: “So then they’re like, ‘It’s not smooth enough.’ There’s like, skids, you know?”
Polanco: “So they had to give me lotion, and I put lotion on the banana, and was able to, like…”
First of all, they call it an air job, which just makes me think of air guitar, which is hilarious enough in itself. But of course the whole banana thing just takes it to a whole new level of comedy. Because really, is there any funnier fruit in the world than a banana? The answer is no. There’s also the use of “mons pubis,” which (let’s face it) is a term not nearly used enough in everyday conversation. And the fact that these two told the story as a team, each one adding a new detail, is simply the most adorable thing.
But that’s not all. Once they’d established how well the plan worked, they divulged further details about what happened to that hard-working banana when the scene was finished.
McGorry: “It worked out great.”
Polanco: “It did.” [jokingly now:] “Once the banana was peeled, everything was exposed…”
McGorry: “Exactly. That’s a deleted scene. We put some ice cream on it—”
Polanco: “And hot caramel. And we ate it.”
I’m obsessed with this cast. Where can I sign up to join it? Do I have to actually know how to act and stuff, or can I just be the person who lurks in the corner watching all this stuff happen like a creeper? I’m really good at that.