Jill Duggar‘s wedding to Derick Dillard was this past Saturday, which means that if you’d stood perfectly perfectly still on that day, you would’ve heard all the angels in god’s choir singing as they shared their first kiss.
And by ‘all the angels in god’s choir singing’, what I really mean is the sound of two flaccid tongues folding over and around each other for the first time, because this wasn’t their first kiss as man and wife — this was their first kiss ever in the world. Jill is from the extremely conservative family shown on the TLC showÂ 19 Kids And Counting,Â and they have such strict views on courtship that this twoÂ waited to hold hands until they were engaged, and their interactions during their five-month courtship were limited to supervised dates and chaste side-hugs.
(At one point a front-hug did sneak through, but don’t you worry about punishing Jill for that, because she’ll have plenty of time to think about her choices in the fiery furnaces of hell.)
Anyway, what we have here today is a really rare find, because it’s a photo (more here!) of Jill
Duggar Dillard during the few brief hours between never having been kissed and turning into a baby factory who’s expected to pump out live young every year or so until her uterus falls out of her body. (Or beyond, if she’s anything like her mother,Â Michelle Duggar.) Blink and you’ll miss the few moments of Jill being a normal girl, because Michelle andÂ Jim BobÂ are already pressuring her for grandchildren in this video filmedÂ beforeÂ the actual wedding:
Yikes! So as if it wasn’t enough to adjust to being able to kiss your husband for the first time and to live in a house with two humans instead of nineteen, we should definitely throw sex in there right off the bat as well.
Because god forbid we had a moment — even a single moment — where Jill was allowed to be in a living, breathing relationship with a human man before having to start proving her worth as a woman by popping out babies.