After hiding out for just under a century with her baby boy, Adele is finally releasing a new album and the sneaky fox is rumored to be doing so secretly! Previous attempts of this feat have been accomplished only by Beyoncé, and we still can’t figure that one out. How did everyone manage not to spoil the secret? Was it Blue Ivy’s idea and she never got credit for it? Are we worthy? Just a whole bunch of residual questions that I know will never be answered. So, all I’m saying is prepare your emotions accordingly for Adele’s. Because you could go to sleep nursing a sad, musical album-sized hole in your heart one night and wake up the next morning as the brand new owner of 25.
According to a source speaking to the Daily Star (which I’m choosing to believe because I want so badly for this to be true), Adele’s album is done and she’s just waiting for us to turn our backs.
“The album is written, recorded and finished. Theoretically it could be released tomorrow if she wanted.”
Don’t mind me. I’m not hyperventilating or getting overly excited, or anything!
“The plan is to release internationally on iTunes as a complete surprise without any previous promotion or build-up publicity campaign. The shock tactics worked amazingly well for Beyoncé and the feeling is Adele’s new album is so widely anticipated it doesn’t need a long promotional build-up.”
That’s genius! Release it tomorrow, Adele; I triple-dog dare you. Release it right now, even! It’ll be such a sweet prank. You’ll be all, “Here’s that album full of angel hymns that you’ve been dreaming about for over a year now!” And we’ll be all, “Hahahah, give me 100.” You’ll get us soo good. It’ll be even better than the best episode of Punk’d, which is saying a lot because that’s the one where Justin Timberlake cried.