Megan Fox recently revealed in a Parents.com interview that she’s hired her son Noah to be her son’s Bodhi’s nanny. I mean, she didn’t say it that way exactly, but that’s how I interpreted this quote about what it’s like having 2 kids under 2. (And yes, before you ask for my credentials, I am a certified reader-between-the-lines-er.)
Their needs are so different because Noah is nearing 2 and then my newborn is 4 months. It’s really hard to manage because I also don’t let them watch TV. It’s not like I’m going to sit Noah in front of the television so I can take care of Bodhi. I have to figure out how to incorporate Noah into the process and have him help me take care of Bodhi and make sure he doesn’t get jealous and make sure nobody’s neglected and everybody’s needs are being met.
At first I was like “whoa rich lady, you’re being so cheap, just hire a nanny!” But then I was like, “omg, she’s a genius. What better way to save money and save your child’s brain cells than by making him your nanny. I mean manny. I mean banny.” That’s a baby nanny…who takes care of babies. I think Megan Fox just invented it. I also think Megan Fox is a brilliant genius.
For every brain cell that your stupid (hypothetical) kid is burning watching TV, Banny Noah is gaining. Do you know how much brain power it takes to learn how to change a diaper when you’re still wearing one yourself? Let me answer that for you and your dumdum TV-watching brain, A LOT! So way to go Megan Fox. Not only are you saving money on childcare, but you’re also saving a lot in college tuition. After a few more years of raising his little brother, Noah will have a brain big enough to get him a scholarship anywhere he wants. Why, he could even attend the online institute where I got certified as a reader-between-the-lines-er. It’s very expensive – 10 installments of $99.99.
(Photo: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com)