Megan Fox Turned Her Toddler Into Her Infant’s Nanny, Proving You Can Be Sexy And Thrifty

Megan Fox teenage mutant ninja turtlesMegan Fox recently revealed in a interview that she’s hired her son Noah to be her son’s Bodhi’s nanny. I mean, she didn’t say it that way exactly, but that’s how I interpreted this quote about what it’s like having 2 kids under 2. (And yes, before you ask for my credentials, I am a certified reader-between-the-lines-er.)

 Their needs are so different because Noah is nearing 2 and then my newborn is 4 months. It’s really hard to manage because I also don’t let them watch TV. It’s not like I’m going to sit Noah in front of the television so I can take care of Bodhi. I have to figure out how to incorporate Noah into the process and have him help me take care of Bodhi and make sure he doesn’t get jealous and make sure nobody’s neglected and everybody’s needs are being met.

At first I was like “whoa rich lady, you’re being so cheap, just hire a nanny!” But then I was like, “omg, she’s a genius. What better way to save money and save your child’s brain cells than by making him your nanny. I mean manny. I mean banny.” That’s a baby nanny…who takes care of babies. I think Megan Fox just invented it. I also think Megan Fox is a brilliant genius.

For every brain cell that your stupid (hypothetical) kid is burning watching TV, Banny Noah is gaining. Do you know how much brain power it takes to learn how to change a diaper when you’re still wearing one yourself? Let me answer that for you and your dumdum TV-watching brain, A LOT! So way to go Megan Fox. Not only are you saving money on childcare, but you’re also saving a lot in college tuition. After a few more years of raising his little brother, Noah will have a brain big enough to get him a scholarship anywhere he wants. Why, he could even attend the online institute where I got certified as a reader-between-the-lines-er. It’s very expensive – 10 installments of $99.99.

(Photo: Ivan Nikolov/

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    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Everything I’ve read about Megan Fox points to her being a super bitch to everyone around her, but I respect any celeb who a) doesn’t hire a nanny to raise their kid while they go out and party, and b) doesn’t let her kids watch tv. So good on her, maybe having kids made her a nicer person.

      • Jenni

        Yeah I do give her props for doing it alone and for being really good about not sharing tons of photos of her kids. She’s pretty good at the whole privacy thing.

    • jen27

      I don’t really like the “I NEVER let my kid watch TV” thing because 1) it’s almost always bull shit and 2) I’ve never heard a single person say this IRL who didn’t come across as a judgmental, pretentious jerk.

      That being said I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong in the rest of her statement. I (thank GOD) only have one kid, but her take on how to deal with raising two at once seems spot on. In my experience both infants and two year olds require lots of attention in very different ways. And if you need to do something (like cooking or caring for your infant) you better make damn sure your 2 year old is engaged in the process or shit ain’t getting done.

      • Jenni

        99% of my conversations with my friends now are about childhood TV. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t grow up with it. Talk about important, relevant things? And yes, the other 1% is mommy-shaming people for every little thing they say.

    • FemelleChevalier

      I’m an only child, but I always see my aunts and uncles do this with my cousins (sans TV restriction). It’s nice because they became responsible teenagers and responsible older brothers/sisters.

      Come to think of it, it was a bit Duggar-ish. But not that extreme since the parents are still pretty much involved.

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