It’s getting harder and harder these days to write a sentence about Willow and Jaden Smith that doesn’t end with the phrase ‘because of course they do’, but I’m gonna try. Willow and Jaden apparently sleep with live snakes in their beds.
…BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO. Ugh, I tried, but that was a tough one to start out with first thing in the morning. Live serpents, yikes. I never had a chance.
And no, you didn’t misread that — it’s plural. As in snakeS and serpentS. Multiple snakes and serpents slithering around Jaden and Willow’s bedroom. Perfectly normal. According to a source speaking to Us Weekly, Willow is really the reptile instigator, but Jaden has gotten firmly on board as well:
“Willow is obsessed with snakes. She has 10 sleeping in her room, and some aren’t in cages!”
TEN SNAKES. Ten cageless snakes in the room of a thirteen-year old. This is a story that we usually only hear the end of, right? On like, the 11:00 news. But don’t worry, it gets better. Jaden apparently refers to his sister’s pets as his ‘girlfriends’:
“They slither into his bed and curl up with him!”
The other word that they use is ‘cuddles’, and I officially need to breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes, because imagining a snake moving against my leg while I’m LYING IN BED ASLEEP has me pretty much beside myself. Apparently Willow isn’t bothered, though, because she got her first boa constrictor, Beauty, at age seven. Blagggghhhhh.
Didn’t Child Protective Services just finish checking out Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith as parents after those photos of Willow and a shirtless Moises Arias in bed together were released? At this point, it’s like the Smiths are trying to get them to come back. Either that, or they’re Parseltongues, and I guess I’d believe it either way.
(Photo: Apega / WENN.com)