There are whispers that Rob Kardashian may be joining The Biggest Loser in order to combat his weight gain, and I think we all need to stand up and start a slow clap for Kris Jenner, because that right there is lady who knows how to play the long con.
Rob has been steadily putting on weight ever since his breakup with Rita Ora, and it’s been pretty clearly creating a rift between him and his family. He left his sister Kim‘s wedding to Kanye West in tears, because apparently crying at the airport in full view of the paparazzi is less emotionally traumatizing than being constantly reminded by Kris that you’re the least lucrative and camera-friendly of her children while they’re trying to take wedding photos. Yikes.
But it looks like we might’ve been wrong about Kris writing Rob off, because she’s finally found a way to monetize him. Obviously he can’t be on Keeping Up With The Kardashians or any of its spinoffs, because he’s such a goddamned eyesore, but that doesn’t necessarily rule out allllllll television. According to a source with Hollywood Life, Kris wants to get him on the weight-loss show Biggest Loser.
“With Biggest Loser being on NBC, they share a lot of the same people who make decisions with E!, so Kris has been in meetings to see if it would work to have Rob on Season 16 this fall. Everyone is on board for this to happen except Rob, he still needs convincing. But most people involved in the talks think Kris will get her way and have him join the show.”
Um, YEAH, I’m pretty sure that Kris is gonna get her way, because she always does. As a sidenote, though, this is finally starting to make sense. I couldn’t understand how it was possible for Rob to be working out with celebrity trainer Gunnar Peterson every day, even traveling with him to Kim’s wedding, and still be putting on weight instead of taking it off, but we finally have answers! Kris must have been stealthing into his house every night and patiently dripping lard into his open mouth as he slept, trying to fatten him up until he was big enough to get paid to lose weight on TV.
That’s the only explanation.