Rob Kardashian May Join The Biggest Loser, Which Was Probably Kris’ Plan All Along

Rob Kardashian crying on cell phone at LAX airport after Kim's wedding May 2014There are whispers that Rob Kardashian may be joining The Biggest Loser in order to combat his weight gain, and I think we all need to stand up and start a slow clap for Kris Jenner, because that right there is lady who knows how to play the long con.

Rob has been steadily putting on weight ever since his breakup with Rita Ora, and it’s been pretty clearly creating a rift between him and his family. He left his sister Kim‘s wedding to Kanye West in tears, because apparently crying at the airport in full view of the paparazzi is less emotionally traumatizing than being constantly reminded by Kris that you’re the least lucrative and camera-friendly of her children while they’re trying to take wedding photos. Yikes.

But it looks like we might’ve been wrong about Kris writing Rob off, because she’s finally found a way to monetize him. Obviously he can’t be on Keeping Up With The Kardashians or any of its spinoffs, because he’s such a goddamned eyesore, but that doesn’t necessarily rule out allllllll television. According to a source with Hollywood Life, Kris wants to get him on the weight-loss show Biggest Loser.

“With Biggest Loser being on NBC, they share a lot of the same people who make decisions with E!, so Kris has been in meetings to see if it would work to have Rob on Season 16 this fall. Everyone is on board for this to happen except Rob, he still needs convincing. But most people involved in the talks think Kris will get her way and have him join the show.”

Um, YEAH, I’m pretty sure that Kris is gonna get her way, because she always does. As a sidenote, though, this is finally starting to make sense. I couldn’t understand how it was possible for Rob to be working out with celebrity trainer Gunnar Peterson every day, even traveling with him to Kim’s wedding, and still be putting on weight instead of taking it off, but we finally have answers! Kris must have been stealthing into his house every night and patiently dripping lard into his open mouth as he slept, trying to fatten him up until he was big enough to get paid to lose weight on TV.

That’s the only explanation.


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    • capoupascap

      Ugh, I feel so much sympathy for Rob…..I’m not sure more TV exploitation would be good for him either. He never seemed as into it as the women when he was in the first few seasons of KUWTK (he may have been in more but then I stopped watching it)

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know. My heart hurts for him. He’s seriously not welcome in the family until he drops the weight! I genuinely feel that.

      • capoupascap

        I really just want him to run off with his trust fund (he has to have one, right?) and just live a happy life, even if it means cutting off contact with his family.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        He must have one. That’s probably what he’s living on right now though. Florida is pretty far from LA, but apparently not quite far enough.

      • markmywords

        Cutting off family is easier said than done. Especially when your mother is a narcistic master manipulator who can fool pretty much anybody. If he really is not into this storyline, he doesn’t stand a chance.

      • capoupascap

        That is an excellent point….

    • Lily Savage

      Oh totally Kris’ plan. Then Rob will go back on Dancing With The Stars to show off his new body, win, and credit it all to his mother’s support. And Kris can have more material for her new book.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Yupppp. I think you unearthed the full plot.

    • noodlestein

      You know, as much as I hate her, you’ve got to admit that Kris is an evil genius. I mean, she just is.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        She seriously is.

    • shaima

      you know what he should do? he should get the fork away from that messed up excuse of a family and try to have a normal life. go rob, fly away. we are rooting for you

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Fly bird, FLYYYYYY!

    • Ron Scott

      I don’t see him losing weight on the biggest loser. He’s probably had enough of being told what to do for a lifetime and would give up when pushed hard.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You may be right. I feel like Jillian could get in his brain and help him, though!