If you had to guess one word that was in Jennifer Lawrence‘s email address, what would it be? I can understand you choosing ‘cake’ or ‘food’ or ‘Hutcherson’, but it actually sounds like ‘butt’ would be a better way to go.
This is according to Lorde at least, who obviously has J-Law’s email address, because why wouldn’t the two of them be hanging out nonstop and refusing to invite us? That goes against everything I’ve ever learned about the world being a fair place to live in which goodness is unrewarded, but whatever. I guess I’ll just get used to the fact that my life is just a big pile of extremely justified FOMO. Here’s the tweet that started it all:
win: do you have jen lawrence’s new email me: oh yeah lemme look me: i think it’s got ‘butt’ in it
— Lorde (@lordemusic) June 15, 2014
Honestly have no idea who ‘Win’ is, which is making me feel like a total failure, especially in light of the fact that I’ve been excluded from this epic email chain all this time. Stewing quietly about that, just imagining all the unfiltered fun they could get up to. Think of the Twitter feuds! The make-up free selfies! The hors d’oeuvre platters! The irreverence! THE CAKES.
I want in and I want in now, so whoever’s the hackiest person among us, hop to it. Meanwhile, I’m just gonna start indiscriminately sending emails. Do you think it’s better to start with firstname.lastname@example.org, mybutthasanoscar@yahoo, or buttzonparade@hotmail? Godspeed everyone! Lorde has given us enough clues that I expect us to have puzzled this out by day’s end.