In what experts have begun describing as The Biggest Plot Twist Of All Time, Natasha Lyonne doesn’t watch Orange Is The New Black. Which would make her approximately the last living being who hasn’t seen the show, despite being one of its stars. Now, I’m pretty sure that it’s firmly against the actual law not to watch OITNB, but I’m positive that it breaks every social rule there is. How else are you going to gasp excitedly when someone mentions it in passing, as you systematically figure out where in the season the other person is so you can fangirl without spoiling? HOW.
I know this little gem because Natasha sat down for the world’s most uncomfortable interview with the Los Angeles Times and talked all about how she avoids it like the plague. The sacrilege begins after the interviewer, Glen Whipp, asks how Natasha goes about consuming the episodes. This is important, because while most of us weak souls fall into a binge-watch like no other, there was still hope that a more controlled human could space out the viewing sessions. Except spacing it out is super easy for Natasha because she just watches zero episodes.
“I have not seen them. I’ve seen the first episode of the first season; I’ve seen the first episode of the second season, both at the premieres. I have Netflix, so I’m assuming I could watch them at any time. I hear the show is excellent.”
So you mean to tell me that the only two times in her life that she’s watched any of the show at all are when she was forced Clockwork Orange-style at the premiere parties??? I know it’s probably weird to watch yourself acting in a role as someone else. But, if any project is worth that level of embarrassment, it’s this one.
Look, Nat, we’re only in Season 2. That’s just a little over a full day’s worth of TV that you have to catch up on, which is nothing to a person with the right amount of determination. You’ve got tiiiiiime, so get on it, girl.
The rest of the interview is below and goes on for another 20 or so minutes. But don’t act like you’re not tempted to watch, if only to marvel at Natasha’s ridic charm. Or to cringe every time either of them makes a joke that absolutely doesn’t land. It’s a good time, either way.