If I told you a photo existed of Kanye West and his baby daughter North West asleep side by side in matching gray clothes, you might imagine it to be pretty adorable. Even if you don’t like Kanye, it’s still a sleeping baby and her dad, so in theory it should be sweet. Well, it turns out that photo does exist, and while plenty of Kim Kardashian’s Instagram followers think it’s totes adorbs, I’m rather creeped out by it.
Kim captioned the photo, “This is what life is about! Our baby girl turned 1 today! We played so hard they passed out while we were watching the game! Happy Father’s Day to the best daddy in the world! The way you love our daughter and protect her makes me filled with so much love! #BestDayEver #Twins #HappyFathersDay #HappyBirthday.” Wow, that’s a lot of explanation for one little photo of a dad and daughter asleep together. Anybody else think the Kardashian doth protest too much? That perhaps she added all those details about falling asleep during the game to convince us that this photo wasn’t at all staged?
Because if you ask me, it totally was. Okay, so I can buy that North’s really asleep, since babies have a tendency to do that and it would be hard to train a one-year-old to play dead on command. And I say “play dead” because, although I hate to be morbid, the only thing I could think of when I glimpsed this photo is that old Victorian custom of posing corpses for photographs. Why is Kanye so stiff? That is the face of either a dead person or a wax figure. Or someone whose wife just hissed at him to throw on his best gray T-shirt and pose with his arm awkwardly around their daughter before she wakes up so they could get an adorable Instagram photo op.
But either way, happy birthday, North! Only seventeen more of these to go before you’re free of these people. But when that happens, run as fast as you can away from Kris Jenner, since she’ll be coming for you with a mud flap dress and a modeling contract.