Tonight marks the fourth season finale of Game of Thrones, and since that means we’ll all probably be left either a.) nauseated, or b.) with our hearts ripped wide open, we asked for your input in softening the blow of having to wait until NEXT MARCH (ugh) to be reunited in Westeros again. Which, to us, obviously means “drinking game”, because how else does one drown one’s sorrows following a season finale that will probably leave us feeling all sorts of emotional?
Right. If you think about it, the possibilities are endless – we know these characters more intimately than Littlefinger’s Ladies at this point, so predicting scenarios to make for a successful drinking game truly isn’t that difficult. But it sure is fun, so without further ado here are the strict rules for our Game of Thrones Drinking Game Season Finale Extravaganza – perfect for a viewing party, or sitting alone on your recliner and watching with your dog (ahem).
1. Drink every time Sam looks confused/sad/afraid. -SmarterPrimate
I’m sorry, Sam old boy, but this is an easy way to get my buzz on while I wait for more interesting things to happen.
2. Drink whenever Littlefinger makes his “Rapey Uncle” face. -SmarterPrimate
Okay, did anyone else experience a disturbing combination of “Eee-yewww” and “Why don’t I hate this? Wait, do I *like* this?” when he and Sansa kissed a few episodes ago? No? Just me, huh? Well either way, it looks like he and Lady Stark are, like, the Beyonce and Jay-Z of the Eyrie.
3. Drink whenever Tyrion rolls his eyes or expresses disdain in a non-vocal way. -SmarterPrimate
I think we can all agree that if we look past Peter Dinklage‘s distinctly fake British accent, Tyrion is awesome and this season basically belongs to him. Forget his speech during the trial, my favorite Tyrion moment this season was when the camera stayed on his face while Oberin told him that story of Cersei pinching his teeny baby weenie. My heart wrenched about a million times there.
4. Take a sip every time Jon Snow squints. -Samantha Escobar
Yep, quick way to get wasted right there. I don’t know if it’s just his face emoting, or if the winter winds of The Wall really whip around up there but Jon Snow scrunches his eyes up more than Michael “Squints” Paladoris (bonus shot if you get the reference).
5. Take a drink every time Tywin Lannister puts himself and his wealth above his family’s wellbeing. -Samantha Escobar
Something’s gotta give, and I have a feeling it’s going to happen tonight. You can’t do an entire kingdom dirrty like that (not to mention your own flesh and blood) without retribution or consequence at some point. At the very least, I’d like to see him get a job as a teller at the Iron Bank so he can pay off his Lannister debts and never be heard from again.
6. Drink every time Daenarys looks like she wants to get into Daario Naharis’ pants. -Alana Vincenza
I’m not even going to judge her for this one. As long as she keeps her shit together when it comes to ruling her newfound kingdom, she’s allowed to get it on with whomever she wants. Khal Drago died, like, three seasons ago!
7. Drink if you find yourself reluctantly attracted to Jaime Lannister. -me
I… hate myself for this, so maybe pour me a double. I’m blaming Nicolaj Coster-Waldau’s good looks and trying to forget that although Jamie wormed his way into my heart while fighting for Brienne’s honor, he’s an incestuous rapist. Thanks, HBO writers, for totally ruining him for me during that brutal episode.
8. Drink if you secretly hope The Mountain somehow shows up and kills Cersei. -me
I’m over her. Don’t get me wrong, I love bad characters just as much as good ones when they’re written well. I think she’s written about as well as Cersei can be, but she’s just gone beyond any redemption whatsoever at this point and I want to see her crumble in a similar style as Oberin did (No, no I don’t. I’m lying. I never want to see anything like that again for as long as I live).
Cheers, and here’s hoping we all make it through the finale in one piece!