Guys, I know you almost forgot about Kim Kardashian after her giant, European circus wedding and subsequent multiple honeymoons, but she wants you to know that just because she’s married, she’s still hot. Specifically, her boobs want you to know that just because they’re married boobs, they’re not old or boring boobs. Much like Lindsay Lohan before her, Kim’s worried we’re all going to forget that she has a good rack.
After sharing a couple of sun-kissed, “your daily reminder that I got my body back after having North” honeymoon pics this week (don’t worry if you felt a little jealous, Kris Jenner did too), Kim wore the equivalent of a panty-hose shirt to Bonnaroo last night. She wanted her new husband to feel fully supported by the weight of her breasts, while simultaneously wanting all of her Instagram followers to do a double take and wonder where her nipples disappeared to. I know I did. I thought maybe they got abducted by Scout Willis and the #FreeTheNipple campaign for a second, then I realized they were strategically-but-barely covered up by a nude bikini top from the Kardashian Kids clothing line.
Forget #FreeTheNipple, I say we all get a Kickstarter going to buy Kim Kardashian a real shirt. Remember when she stole Kylie Jenner‘s bikini? This poor woman is in dire need of some clothes that fit. I mean, her boobs are probably freezing. I feel bad for them. Especially because they’re really distracting the attention away from her Anthony Michael Hall-ish “members only” jacket.