You know that thing where you break the law, get caught, and then receive a justifiable punishment to fit your crime? Yeah, me too (long story, so let’s just say the struggle was real for a hot minute). But that’s only because we’re not Justin “Human Shit Stain” Bieber, who apparently doesn’t have to answer for his DUI and resisting arrest charges back in January. You’ll recall that he was not only driving under the influence (of alcohol, marijuana, and a heaping dose of over-inflated ego, I’m assuming), but he was excessively speeding as well, all on top of being a giant asshole to the arresting officers. Remember that sweet, wittle baby-faced mugshot? Yeah, I do too. Fondly.
But any satisfaction 99% of the American population felt after seeing Justin Bieber in an orange jumpsuit is officially fleeting, because apparently all of those charges will be dropped. According to an “exclusive” Us Weekly source, if Justin agrees to attend regular anger management courses, all charges will be dropped. He won’t even have to serve any probation time.
“It’s a really good deal and he’s happy with it. He thinks it’s fair. He just wants to put the whole bad episode behind him and move on.”
Oh, no shit? He thinks it’s “fair”? So weird! It’s also kind of weird that the justice system thinks this all can be resolved with a few “anger management” classes when it’s pretty clear this kid is in dire need of Learning Self Awareness And Humility 101. I think I’d even settle for him agreeing to read a used copy of How Not To Be An Intolerable Shithead Asshole For Dummies from Amazon.