• Thu, Jun 12 - 9:59 am ET

North West Could Not Look More Unhappy In These New Photos From Kimye’s Wedding

Kanye West holding North after wedding to Kim Kardashian May 2014 When we talk about how silly Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s marriage is, I think a lot of the time, we’re forgetting about the real victim – North West.

For us, this wedding was a one-day thing, and now that it’s over, we can sit back quietly and watch as the newlyweds hop from country to country in a desperate quest never to be in the same room while not on vacation until everything goes up in smoke, seventy-two days or so from now. But for North, that was just the first day of the rest of her life as the daughter of a very married Kimye, and you can see that awareness ALL OVER her face in these new photos of the wedding.

Actually, come to think of it, I’ve never seen a picture of little Nori where she doesn’t look positively vexed. Ever. With the percentage of time that Kimye is out of the country, plus the number of times that Kim changes her clothes in a day, I’m wondering if maybe she just doesn’t recognize the blurry shapes who keep wanting to hold her every time a camera comes around. But she doesn’t have the power of words yet, so all she can do is use her eyes to communicate ‘NO HELP PLEASE SOMEBODY STOP THE WEDDING’. Kim’s dress tried to help, but it was already too late.

Kanye West talking to all the Kardashian women bridal party May 2014

Even in that group shot, she’s raising her hand as if to be called on, but everyone in the bridal party is too busy glaring at Kanye to pay attention to her. Honestly thought, guys, what is taking place in this picture. We have a literal hand-on-hip from Kendall Jenner, side-eye from Kylie, raised eyebrows from Kourtney Kardashian, pursed lips from Khloe, and an eerie stoicism from Kris Jenner and her breasts, like the calm before the storm.

AND THIS WAS RIGHT AFTER THE WEDDING. How is everyone already so heated? We should have heeded your call, North. I don’t know how we’ll ever make it up to you.

(Photos: E!)

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  • gayle

    These photos do nothing to convince me this marriage will last past the two year mark. They all look miserable in the first one and the second one the bridal party looks terrified while Kanye gives them instructions not to screw up his big production.

    • Myndee

      He’s giving them one of his rants about how he’s a God, and if they don’t like it he’ll say they don’t care about black people and are best friends with Bush, who also hates black people, and he grabs the flowers from BeyoncĂŠ when they’re state side again to let her know he had the best wedding of all time but she wouldn’t know because she snubbed him, and he has the coolest $10,000 sneakers, Kris H isn’t cool enough or rich enough to buy them because he’s not a God like Yeszus!

    • Priceless

      STOP HATING. GET A LIFE.

      NORTH IS A BABY. SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS YET. AS FOR THE FAMILY EXPRESSIONS, THAT PERCEPTION IS THE VIEW ONLY FROM YOUR LENS.

    • M_G

      HELLO, PRICELESS. I, TOO, LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS. I THINK IT ADDS FLAIR TO MY COMMENTS AND IN NO WAY DIMINISHES MY POINT BECAUSE OF HOW INSANELY STUPID AND CHILDISH IT LOOKS.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T REALIZED IT YET, CRUSHABLE DOESN’T PRINT KIMYE STORIES SO THAT WE CAN GAZE APPROVINGLY AT THEM. THEY PRINT THEM SO THAT WE CAN MOCK THEM, WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT YET GRASPED AND YET YOU COME HERE TELLING EVERYONE TO “STOP HATING” – IN ALL CAPS, NO LESS. WHY DON’T YOU GO OVER TO PEOPLE.COM INSTEAD – THEY PRINT THESE STORIES FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF DECLARING THESE TWO NARCISSISTIC KOOKS TO BE SOME KIND OF ROYALTY.

    • whiteroses

      MAYBE IF I TYPE IN ALL CAPS TOO, PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING BETTER.

  • M_G

    What the heck is even going on in that top picture?! North looks super upset/unhappy, Kanye looks pissed, and Kim looks like her mind is somewhere else entirely.

  • Myndee

    “SERIOUSLY GUYS WHERE IS MY MOM! STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!!!!!!!” I have never met a baby who NEVER smiles, my daughter is 18 months old and she is always smiling, especially when a camera is present. That poor kid, someone call CPS or Angelina Jolie time now

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      She’s just taking after her zero-smiles father. And babies aren’t as dumb as people think they are. I’m sure this poor kid is taking in everything at this point and already understands the difference between mommy and nanny. And my money’s on her running to the nanny when she wants some real attention.

  • barb

    That is another reason why it is a good idea to marry before having children so that children are not involved in the wedding chaos and do not become completely overwhelmed by the activities (ha ha). Poor little girl, she is probably exhausted and cranky. Maybe it is a good idea to take a page from Will and Kate’s book and keep this child under wraps awhile and let her introduction to the world start off peacefully.

  • Nbl

    She inherited her father’s resting bitch face. Her mom might have it too but it’s hard to tell under all that plastic. On a different note, why the hell is Kim wearing white?

    • Gangle

      I can’t believe I am standing up for Kim. She is wearing white because she wants to. I was no virgin when I got married. I wore white. Don’t be so pearl-clutchy

    • Nbl

      Honey it’s not “pearl-clutchy”. This is her third marriage and she has a freakin sex tape. It seems tacky to me to continue wearing white to your weddings. Especially when I have to use the plural of “wedding”

    • Gangle

      Of course she is tacky. That is the whole point of her existence. But a white wedding dress never symbolised ‘purity’ or ‘virginity’. Instead it was a trend started by Queen Victoria and instead was a sign of opulence and wealth – this is back in a time when women just wore the best dress they owned, or bought a dress in a colour that was easily laundered. A white dress in those days would have to be discarded. It had nothing to do with being pure or waiting for marriage. It was all about being classist, in which case the colour suits Kim to a T.

    • Nbl

      I’m perfectly aware of the original meaning of the white dress but symbols change in time, and that’s not the modern meaning. It no longer symbolizes wealth it’s now a virginal thing. And if you think Kim has any notion of who Queen Victoria even was you’re giving her too much credit. I’m pointing out the tackiness because this is a celebrity gossip site and I don’t like the Kardashian. So I’m going to point out their lack of taste because I’m a schadenfreude loving person. Sue me

    • Gangle

      Lol, I wouldn’t give Kim enough credit to know who QE2 is, let alone Queen Vic. But no, while a wedding dress did come to mean virginity in society, that trend ended quite some time ago. Now white just happens to be the most popular colour for wedding dresses. She could be the whore of Babylon and white would still be an appropriate wedding dress colour these days. They don’t hold any more symbolism than that. But yes, her dress was pretty hideous. Then again, if it was tasteful, there wouldn’t be anything to giggle at.

  • Elizabeth Aspen

    Lord, what a sad little three-ring circus. Two of my good friends just got married in a very elegant classy but casual-chic ceremony that was way more inspiring than anything these two clowns could come up with. The bride wore a long white skirt and a Soundgarden t-shirt, her groom in white slacks with a Pearl Jam t-shirt, and they asked all their guests, most of whom were musicians, to come dressed in white and rock their favorite concert tees as well. This way they got to include all their friends in the wedding instead of the bride just playing princess-for-a-day like Kim.

    • guest

      that’s sounds so beautiful, honestly! i hope i have something as meaningful as that too :)

  • FauxRealFaux

    Looks like a normal toddler to me, in fact, North looks like she is reaching for her dad in the bottom picture.

    • itpainsme2say

      same and i think it looks like he just walked in while they were talking so they turned to listen

  • keetakat

    All the women in the bottom picture (including the breasts) seem to be saying, “Dafuq you say???”.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Right? So crazy, I really want to know what he was saying.

    • keetakat

      He’s even got his hand out as if to fend off the inevitable retribution for whatever he said…”Don’t get me wrong– I…I…”

  • FauxRealFaux

    Beautiful baby.

  • Nbl

    Can we talk about one of the under age girls taking advantage of Italy’s lower drinking age?

    • Gangle

      Why?

    • Nbl

      Because I want to. I didn’t realize I needed to give you my motivations behind my actions. My apologies, next time I’ll ask you when I want to talk about something.

    • Gangle

      You are being very obtuse. What I meant was, what is the big deal if someone wants to take advantage of the lower drinking age in another country? It is perfectly legal, so I don’t really see what the issue is or why it needs discussing.

    • Nbl

      Because it a celebrity gossip site and after a semester of reading more in ancient Latin than in English and dealing with pretentious history majors, I figured going online and being kind of a bitch about this issue would be fun. Especially considering their mom recently said neither of her two youngest drink. I apologize if I seemed combative but tone is hard to read online and after your first reply to me it did feel as if you were combative to me. But this is a site where I can express my dislike of this family so yeah, I’m going to find something as ridiculous as legal underage drinking to nit pick. It’s better than yet another discussion on the ramifications of the triumvirate or whether the Greco defeat of the Persians was a good thing.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      She’s not in America. The laws don’t apply to her. Stop trying to impose your standards on other cultures.

    • Nbl

      Stop making assumptions about me. Her mother just said in an interview that her two youngest don’t drink. I’m not going to miss a chance to point out that woman’s hypocrisy. Calm your damn tits.

  • FormerlyKnownAsWendy

    Does anybody else feel like the bridesmaids’ dresses are 1000x prettier than the bride’s?

  • D

    This baby looks MORE comfortable with her aunt than she ever looks with her parents. She looks content while her dad is talking about whatever he’s ranting about this time. Every time I see a picture with her and her parents she looks like she’s going to cry. I really don’t think she knows who they are. That’s sad.

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  • ChargerBug

    Babies understand who their mom is and they miss her. North is probably always worried about being handed off when she is with her mommy, thus the many sad looks.