Last night a pregnant Mila Kunis went on Jimmy Kimmel Live and gave an inspiring speech about why men need to stop saying “We’re pregnant” to announce that they have a baby on the way. It all started when Jimmy used the dreaded sentence to describe his and his wife’s situation. So Mila grabbed a convenient microphone and stood up for all the pregnant ladies out there whose baby daddies want to share credit for the whole “carrying a growing human being in your body” thing.
I for one am glad someone finally took a stand and said something about this. It always sounds so strange to me when men say that. I don’t know if you know this, but men can’t get pregnant. Unless we’re talking about seahorse men. Those can, but human men cannot. And perhaps more importantly, two separate people cannot be pregnant with the same baby, unless you’re in some weird sci-fi movie… or more likely a Syfy one. You can have more than one baby in the same person, but not the same baby in two people. That’s a one-uterus deal. And if you don’t have a uterus in the first place, it makes it doubly difficult.
So no, Jimmy Kimmel and Ashton Kutcher are not pregnant. Unless they actually are and that’s what they’re trying to tell us by saying that. But somehow I’m doubtful. I’m also forever grateful to Mila Kunis for delivering this speech. And for making it totally hilarious. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear someone use the phrase “love goblin” to describe a developing baby, but Mila Kunis gave it to me, and I appreciate it. Also “lady hole.” Never underestimate the hilarity of that phrase.