Hey guys, as you’re going about your day today, don’t forget to have a ton of sympathy for Justin Bieber, okay? He’s recently been outed as a shitty little racist, and he’s just been crying his eyes out about it ever since.
You might think that using the n-word in two separate videos, joking about killing black people, and making light of joining the KKK would make Justin more of a perpetrator of racism than a victim of injustice, but apparently Justin disagrees. He’s made a couple emotionless written apologies (now with one free Bible quote included with each purchase!), but has apparently been doing most of his wallowing behind closed doors:
“Justin’s been in tears. But he knows he needs to take responsibility for his actions, he’s confronting his past and he’s hanging out with his real friends and his parents.”
His real friends, huh? Which ones would those be? Usher has already distanced himself from Justin in light of his repeated use of racial slurs, and even if he does just hang out with his parents, that leaves him with Pattie Mallette, who’s asked Jesus to take the wheel as far as parenting goes, and Jeremy Bieber, who’s categorically the worst. Not great odds.
But don’t worry guys, even though Justin is supposedly mid-sob-fest, holed up somewhere with Netflix and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, one of his friends is anonymously revealing that IT’S NOT BECAUSE HE’S A RACIST.
“He’s no racist. He’s far from it. It was an innocent mistake and all his boys know that and are not taking it the same way that others are taking it. We all know Justin, they don’t. This was before he was even a household name and had everybody in the world holding a microscope to his life. Price of fame, I guess.”
Far from it? Really? It seems like if anything, he’s pretty close to it, as he certainly shares the same vocabulary and penchant for dead people of color that racists do. And considering there are rumored to be fifteen to twenty more minutes of footage out there just waiting to be released, I’m imagining that Justin and racists are only gonna find more things in common.