• Thu, Jun 5 - 12:43 pm ET

Katy Perry Describes Her ‘Type’ Of Guy And Suddenly Her Strange Love Life Makes Sense

Katy Perry Tongue Out

It turns out that what Katy Perry looks for in men is exactly what people generally look for in an effective x-ray machine. Or, like, some really good radio station equipment, in case you live in the year 1930 and still talk about radio stations in conversation. Because don’t most people hit the dating scene the way that they would hit the medical procedure or radio communication scene? Not really, but Katy does. So, that’s, what? One person in the whole universe? Okay, cool.

In her July 2014 issue of CosmopolitanKaty tells her interviewerChelsea Handler, all about her favorite type of radio wave. Whoops, I meant type of guy. I just got them confused, like Katy seems to do, too.

“I guess I happen to be attracted to high-frequency men.”

Is she sure that that’s her final answer? Because, some people are like, “I guess I’ll always be attracted to tall men?” Or, “I just can’t figure out why I’m so into hockey players!” But Katy’s answer is causing records everywhere to scratch dramatically. Music stores across the globe are shutting down and hipsters everywhere are tossing their record players out of industrial loft windows, as the sound is becoming unbearable.

Let’s put it this way: “high frequency” doesn’t mean many things. So, if someone could walk in on you describing your type and mistake your conversation for being about 1) dangerous radio waves, or 2) dangerous and risky stock-trading practices, then you need to rethink some things. Because neither of those sound like an ideal coupling to me.

Girl, just let me know if you’d like me to hook you up with some low-frequency guys for a change, and I’m on it. You know, someone who just wants to play a little Scattergories, before heading to bed at 11PM. That sounds like safe and wholesome fun that isn’t cause for concern, right??

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