Beyonce Is Running Against Rihanna To Be President Of The ‘Hey, Look At My Nipples!’ Club

Beyonce nipple photo June 2014

I sure hope you have a pair of nipples in your closet — or already on your body, if that’s what you’re into — because they are all the rage this season. And the best part is you can wear them with absolutely anything, because nobody’s going to be paying attention to the rest of the outfit anyway. That’s the beauty of it. Just look at the selfie Beyonce posted to her website yesterday. She is proud of those nipples. So proud she gives them more prominence in the photo than she does her face. If that’s not a prime example of nipple pride, I don’t know what is.

Of course, when you compare it to what Rihanna wore to the CFDA Fashion Awards last night (hint: it was sparkly and slinky and sheer and the only thing it left to the imagination was her vagina), this is super tame. This photo was posted too close to Rihanna’s nippular debut to say either one was trying to compete with the other one, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they looked into each other’s minds from afar and figured out the other’s plan.

That means Beyonce’s gonna have to really step up her nipple-flaunting game if she wants to beat RiRi for the coveted title of “Head Nipple-Flaunter.” Which is a title I just made up five seconds ago and only matters in my head. But still, she should really work on that. Maybe practice with a few wet T-shirt contests or by spending the afternoon in a cold college lecture hall without a cardigan. Train those nipples! Or ditch the tight shirt (bathing suit?) altogether and just walk around town sans top like Scout Willis. It’s the only way to go if you want to be a champion, Bey. Make nipples everywhere proud.


You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • Nbl

      We all have nipples. I just checked and yup, I’ve got two (I know someone who has three but we’ll discuss that later). This isn’t a state secret. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But there’s a difference between the ocean taking your top off, or letting the world know you’re cold or a daring dress slipping a little too far one way and the deliberate intent to show your nipples. There comes a time in every females life where they will be accidentally exposed (if you play water polo it will happen on a weekly basis) and there is no need to feel ashamed. If you want to go topless at a beach that allows that, go for it! I know I have. That just shows you are comfortable with your body. But when you deliberately expose yourself like this in a public forum, don’t hide behind the “empowering” argument. You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re exposing yourself for attention. I’m not a fan of Beyonce to begin with, but the picture above obviously showcases the fact that she wants you to look at her breast. It’s the opposite of empowering. It’s not showing you’re a strong female, it’s showing that you’re perfectly ok with becoming a sexual object. Because like it or not, breast are a big part of sexuality. The attention whoring needs to stop. Now.
      Much love,
      Someone who would rather be known for my accomplishments and not by my breast.

      • guest

        I am SOOOOOO glad somebody said this! I’m a young woman, surrounded by young women all day in school, work etc. The amount of “feminist empowerment” talk is dumbfounding. Wearing clothes (or no clothes in some cases) is not “empowering!” It is a way to attract the eyes of all the young men around us and have their eyes constantly lowering in a conversation. if you want to be empowered, go out dressed modestly and see the conversations you can have then.

      • Shelly Brian

        Beyonce just started. Scout Willis went for it with two pics. but not enough. I think Rihanna wins. this wasn’t an accident. She wanted people to talk and she got her way.

      • FauxRealFaux

        Why did you go topless on the beach? Was that attention whoring? Since Beyoncé is an entertainer seeking attention a part of her career- she does it well. I love Beyoncé and when I iriginally saw this photo I said “Love the hair and what type of necklace is that.” I didn’t notice her nipples- but that’s just me. My nipples show if I’m wearing a flimsy bra or or when I’m braless while wearing a tank top. Its not intentional.and I’m not objectifying myself.

      • Nbl

        Because I was at a topless beach and I didn’t want tan lines. It’s also hidden so the public can’t spy on you. If she wanted to show off her hair and necklace then the photo shouldn’t have been 80% boob. For someone who controls her image as much as Beyonce does, this wasn’t an accident. She wanted people to talk and she got her way.

      • FauxRealFaux

        We disagree. I noticed the hair and by-passed looking at her boobs. That’s just me.

      • Nbl

        Ok answer this truthfully, if this was a celebrity you didn’t like as much as Beyonce would you say the same thing? If this was Miley Cyrus, would you have the same response? Really think about it. If you not want to answer that’s fine, I know I’m guilty of defending celebrities that I like and condemning the ones I don’t like for the same actions.

      • FauxRealFaux
      • FauxRealFaux

        Miley Cyrus has tons of photos, online, that show case her nipples (not sure if it is intentional in some cases). That is Miley Cyrus’ and I don’t have an opinion about her wardrobe.

        In this Beyonce photo, you see one nipple, not two, just one, not something I woulld deem attention whoring. Its a thin shirt and not the type of shirt you wear a bra with.

    • J_Doe5686

      Riri has campaign for the presidency for a long while now. Beyonce just started. Scout Willis went for it with two pics. but not enough. I think Rihanna wins.

    • FauxRealFaux

      I thought Bey was showing off her micro-braids.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Well if that’s the case her nipples photobombed.

    • KarenMS

      Why is wanting attention inherently bad?

    • Roman

      Breh whoever made this shitty ass site I will clown. At least her tits are hers. Is Rihanna even real? I mean she #WORKS for Beyoncé. Eats all her left overs…lol and I like BEY & SHAKIRA ALOT BEYER RIRI AIN’T EVEN ORIGINAL