Kim Kardashian Was Bored On Her Honeymoon, So It’s All Downhill From Here

Kim Kardashian raising her eyebrows while drinking red wine GIFIn news that will surprise absolutely no one, apparently Kim Kardashian was bored out of her mind on her honeymoon with Kanye West. I guess nobody told her that after a wedding came other parts where you’d have to change out of your fancy clothes and let your guests go home and just hang out with your new spouse one-on-one…because she was having none. of. it.

Honestly you guys, I’m so excited to share this story with you that I almost don’t even know where to begin. But I guess the fact that they went to Ireland is a good place to start. When I first hear that, last week, I was confused. There are a lot of places I can picture Kimye gingerly touching hands and smizing toward a camera, but most of them are sunny and sandy and beachy, and Ireland is decidedly not one of them.

I couldn’t figure out why they would’ve chosen that destination, until Radar Online informed me that they didn’t. Kanye chose it, and he surprised Kim with it. And she was piiiiiiissed.

“[Kanye took them to Ireland] even though both had already spent time there before. It was also where Kris and Bruce Jenner spent their honeymoon. Staying at a five star resort in Cork, Ireland, wasn’t enough for Kim.”

OH my god. Either Kanye doesn’t know Kim at all, or he’s trolling her, trying to get this divorce moving. And either option is equally hilarious to me.

“She complained during phone calls to Kris that she was bored and just wanted to go shopping, but the lack of high end retailers really irked her. Kanye did plan a bike riding outing, but they brought two assistants with them.”

Oh my goddddd. So that’s why they went to the movies twice in one day! They had to find something to distract from talking to each other, but there was no shopping! I absolutely cannot handle this.

“Kris tried to tell Kim to just relax and enjoy it, but she wasn’t having it.”

I feel like this is the kind of advice that Michelle Duggar would give her daughters after they got married, except it’d be about having sex for the first time. “Just close your eyes and try to relax — he’ll tell you when it’s over.”

And even the things that Kanye did plan, Kim didn’t want to do.

“Kanye had planned an outing in Dublin that included a private tour of Trinity College, but Kim persuaded him not to go. The idea of going to old museums as Kim says, would have just bored her to death. All she wants to do is shop. There isn’t a lot going on with her other than that.”

This has to be a joke, right? First of all, isn’t a honeymoon sort of supposed to be one of the most fun parts about a marriage? So if it isn’t fun, what will be? And second of all, why why why would Kanye ever think that Kim would want to tour an old college during hers? Did this whole marriage just become a game of chicken? Whoever says ‘uncle’ first has to keep North?

I’m obsessed.

(Image: Perez Hilton)

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    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Who has “outings” to a museum on a honeymoon. You’re just supposed to stay in your room and pork for two weeks. And you know you’re not really in love when you have to go to someone else’s wedding while on your own honeymoon.

    • markmywords

      Ireland is nice and Cork is beautiful. It’s a small romantic city, I liked it alot there. Wonder, if they were in the same hotel, I had been in.
      My gut feeling is that this is part of Kanye’s plan to mold Kim into something she is not. Maybe the lack of high end retailers was intentional. Maybe planning to go to a university and a museum was intentional, too, maybe to raise an interest into something. Didn’t he say he wanted her to educate herself to become a high end fashion designer or something?
      Isn’t there a theory under which girls want to marry their dads and choose a husband that is somehow like him and boys want to marry a girl that is like their mom? His mom was an academically accomplished and highly respected person. Maybe deep down Kanye wants the same for Kim.
      Just speculating.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        That’s a really interesting theory. Kanye just got himself a nice little doll to dress up and educate. Let the Eliza Doolittling begin!

      • noodlestein

        Agreed. I think his “perfect bitch” is turing out to be anything but, and he just can’t let go of the dream now that he’s finally gotten her.

    • Nbl

      I would have killed for a private tour of Trinity. I almost wet myself when I went into the library. So many books!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I KNOW.

      • Janelle

        Exactly! Haha, all I could think while reading this “this honeymoon sounds great!”.

      • Nbl

        I’ve had the privilege to travel to many different countries, and hands down, Ireland is my favorite.

      • Janelle

        I loved it, too! I was there about six months ago and could have stayed forever!

      • Nbl

        I’m looking to find a way to live there eventually. :)

      • Janelle

        I’m crossing my fingers for you while preparing to turn green with envy.

      • Kate

        Same, I miss Ireland every day UGH

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I wanna goooooo!

      • Nbl

        Start saving up and make a plan to get there. Completly worth every penny. The people there are so nice. We went for a football game. Yes American football. So there were so many Americans there but the locals were so nice and so much fun! I would skip the Ring of Kerry though. Every told told us there was an amazing view of some lakes but its really nothing compared to Yosemite. And it takes a whole day.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Okay I’ll do it!

      • Kate

        DO ITTTT I studied abroad in Galway three years ago and have already gone back. Aer Lingus runs pretty good airfare deals (~$500 roundtrip from NYC depending on the season) and Ireland has nice hostels that aren’t skeevy, just cost-effective. It’s a pretty inexpensive holiday, for sure

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know! So jealous.

    • FauxRealFaux

      I hope North gets her love for education from her Grandma Donda.

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