Lea Michele Started Drinking So Young That She Was Likely Born Wasted

Lea Michele Rachel Berry Glee

Glee star Lea Michele showed on Chelsea Handler’s show last night to promote Brunette Ambition, her new book and I believe, her general life philosophy. While the actress usually keeps a low profile that involves staying out of the spotlight (for at least five minutes a day), she took a break from the shadows to share a story about her childhood. Turns out that she comes from a family that loves to drink, so the dinner table generally included water, soda, a gallon of wine, a keg of beer, a rowdy game of flip cup and a funnel. Okay, finnneee, that’s an exaggeration. It’s unlikely that there was room for water and soda on that table with that game of beer pong going on.

As someone who did not grow up with wine on the dinner table, I’m naturally very jeal of Lea. My high school drinking involved things with flavors like Razzmatazzajazz and Blech! and skunked. Even when I got into wine it was of the boxed variety, so I really didn’t enjoy the flavor of it until after college — when I learned that you don’t need to slap the bottle to get maximum flavor. So it’s fair to say that Lea’s probably a much better drinker than I am. And probably less obvious when she’s bullshitting her way through a wine list. I’m still at the point in my alcohol self-education program where I’m choosing wine based on price first, followed by pronounceability second and year last.

Just kidding, I couldn’t tell the difference between a 2014 and a 1885 if you paid me a million dollars to do it. However, if you do have a million dollars to throw around on horrible challenges, I can come with a few that I’d be competitive in. Think about that for a bit while you watch this interview.

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    • Olivia Wilson

      Razzmatazzajazz, second only to Tangy Strawberry Toilet Water.

      • Jenni

        Oh, I used to straight up binge drink Tangy Strawberry Toilet Water

    • markmywords

      No excuse for being a bad person.