Happy birthday to Daniel Tosh, who turns thirty-nine years old today! He’s a very talented, funny guy, and I hope he has a great day filled with lots of cake, but it’s been hard for me to get that into him ever since he told an audience member that it would be hilarious if she got raped.
I get I wasn’t there to see how it happened, and that he apologized, and that many if not most people don’t think it shoudl be a big deal, but for better or for worse, it is for me. He’s just one of those people that I probably can’t get on board with in the future. I can recognize jokes of his that are funny to me when I come across them, and I don’t begrudge him his success — he’s just not for me.
And neither are the other people on this list! Unfair as it may be, they’ve said or done something during their careers that for me outshines their myriad talents. Other people might be comfortable just throwing the word ‘controversial’ in front of their names and proceeding with business as usual, but not me. You may disagree, but here’s the list of celebrities who’ve burned me one too many times.
1. Daniel Tosh
Out of context or not, if your go-to insult for hecklers has anything to do with being raped, you’re not the comedian for me.
2. Alec Baldwin
(Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)
He was truly great on 30 Rock, and I’ve enjoyed him in other projects that I’ve seen since, but he’ll never not be the guy who called his eleven-year old daughter a ‘rude, thoughtless pig’, who throws out homophobic slurs like it’s his job, and gets withdrawal symptoms if he doesn’t post a Twitter rant every fifteen minutes.
3. Paul Walker
(Photo: Daniel Deme / WENN.com)
I know we’re supposed to be polite about Paul because of his tragic death last year in a car accident, but ever since I discovered that he had a history of dating underage girls as a full-grown man, it’s been hard for me to see him in the same light.
4. Mel Gibson
Honestly, I’m surprised Mel even has a career anymore after the anti-Semitic comments he spouted out during his drunk-driving arrest in 2006. And after his phone conversations with then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva where he told her she deserved to ‘get raped by a pack of niggers’. REALLY DUDE? Congratulations on your Academy Awards and everything, but get gone.
5. Woody Allen
(Photo: Joseph Marzullo / WENN.com)
You can believe whatever you want as far as the accusations against Woody, but I happen to believe his accuser, Dylan Farrow. As such, while I can enjoy his movies, I can’t enjoy him as a person. And I’m pretty sure that’s a forever and ever thing.
6. Chris Brown
Call me crazy, but trying to beat someone to death with your hands isn’t an offense that I’m accustomed to forgiving just because you feel super sorry about it. No matter how annoyingly catchy your dancing is.
7. Sean Penn
Sean has always had a predilection for violence, but ever since I found out that he allegedly tied Madonna up and tortured her for several hours during their marriage, I mentally steer clear of Sean. He’s just too much of a loose cannon for me to ever be able to relax and enjoy his work.
8. Emma Roberts
There aren’t a ton of women on this list, and I’m interested in why that is. I don’t have an answer, but I’m aware of it. Emma firmly deserves her place, though, after being brought in for assault after attacking her then-boyfriend (now-fiance!) Evan Peters. Just because the violence is initiated by the female doesn’t make it any more acceptable. Plus, I never liked Emma all that much in the first place, so I’m just hoping the door doesn’t hit her ass on the way out.
9. Lance Armstrong
Man, you are real good at riding bicycles and swapping all the blood out of your body, and reeeeeal bad at telling the truth about it. Good luck in the future, I guess, and good on you for the Live Strong Foundation, but I defended you too stringently for too many years to feel in any way okay about what you did. Particularly the part wher e you attempted to extort your accusers into silence so you could invalidate their (very real) claims. That was super classy.
10. Paula Deen
You keep on making your edible butter houses and managing your diabeetus, but I’m gonna find me a baker of treats who thinks a little more highly of people of color. Or even just one who isn’t so eager to admit their use of the n-word. DREAM BIG.