Kimye’s Divorce Is So Inevitable That A Gym Is Now Using It For Advertising

Kimye gif


Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are still married. It’s been four days now. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are. When will this madness end?! The clock is ticking, you two. Better get to planning that divorce. Okay okay, so I know when people get married we’re supposed to assume they’ll be together forever and never stop loving each other and live happily ever after. But I can’t even do that for people on my Facebook newsfeed, so how do you expect me to do it for Kimye? New York Sports Club is certainly ready for the divorce, based on the ad they put in the New York Post.

Here it is in all its cynical glory, reminding everyone that Kim’s previous marriage to Kris Humprhies was a whole 72 days long. We’ve all memorized that number by now, right? Obviously. How else are we supposed to use it as a punch line in every conversation?

Kimye New York gym ad May 2014

(Photo: Twitter)

Get it? Kim and Kanye are totes gonna get divorced, because that’s what Kim Kardashian does best. I think it’s on her resume, above “reality star” and below “sex tape actress.” Of course, the ad doesn’t totally make sense because it’s not like Kim broke up with ripped basketball player Kris Humphries because he let himself go. But it’s a joke at Kimye’s expense, so we probably shouldn’t nitpick too much.

Still, while we’re all chuckling along with the divorce comments now, I’m afraid eventually it’ll become the celebrity gossip equivalent of “Let It Go” videos. Months down the line we’ll be like, “Ugh, will they just break up already so I can stop hearing these divorce jokes?” Savor this time, my friends. And good luck in your divorce betting pools. Do you think North’s existence will increase or decrease the number of days? I think I’ll go do some calculations and figure this thing out.

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • J_Doe5686

      I give it 2 years at most. Kim Kardashian is getting paid and after a while she’s filing.

    • Alyssa

      I’m not sure if I am convinced that Kanye wouldn’t murder her if she tried to leave him. He is like… obsessivly in love with her.

      • Kate

        I totally agree with this. I don’t think he’ll ever let her leave him (if she even wanted to)

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Yeah but Kris Jenner has all the forces of darkness to back her up. You don’t think she can defeat him? She got him to go on her show and kind of smile.

      • Elizabeth Aspen

        Except that obsession isn’t love. These two will never get divorced. They’re both narcissists, which means they need each other’s endless worship. He’s too controlling to let her go and she’s too dumb and weak-minded to see that he views her as only an object. A match made in Hell.

      • FauxRealFaux

        He does love himself some Kim K but I think he would leave her in a hot second to hold Beyonce’s purse.

    • Kate

      The only thing tackier than Kimye is that ad. Yikes.

      • Elizabeth Aspen

        I think it’s hilarious, it puts those two morons in their place. Now if only they used proper punctuation, it would pack that much more punch.

    • Myndee

      Since the new season of their show is starting soon, I give the marriage until filming resumes for the next season and it will be all about divorce part 2, North will be seen even less for fear Kayne will take the baby and run to Paris, and the clan will spin it into a Lamar/Kris H fiasco, he’s a cheating drug abuser who’s controlling and mean. Insert Reggie asking to set up play dates with their girls, and cue the Lionel Richie music and baby #2 while getting divorce #3.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        This is impressively detailed.

    • fantasymother

      I had assumed the divorce papers were an integral part of the prenup.

      • Elizabeth Aspen

        I think pre-nups are hilarious. I mean, why not just already admit defeat? People obviously have no faith in their relationship when there’s a pre-nup involved.

      • C

        It’s not having no faith- it’s being realistic. Not everything works out, and I respect people who are smart enough to know that going in, no matter how much they love eachother.

      • Elizabeth Aspen

        Sorry, I disagree. I don’t believe in marriage to begin with, but for people who do, covering their asses with a pre-nup is basically admitting they aren’t going to make it. If people who believe in marriage went into it with a “divorce is not an option” attitude I would respect that more. If you’re just going to “be realistic” and sign a pre-nup, then just don’t get married in the first place.

      • JenH1986

        I think that’s a fine way to look at it for most of us regular folks who don’t have much. But to not sign a pre-nup when you have MILLIONS at stake is just dumb. People change and life happens whether it’s a cheating spouse while one spouse whole heartedly believed in the marriage or losing a child and the marriage couldn’t survive. I know a couple people who said the pre-nup actually made them feel BETTER because they knew that their future spouse wasn’t looking for a pay day. They truly just wanted to be with them.

    • Elizabeth Aspen

      Marriage is such a crock. I have to laugh at all the girlfriends I’ve had who got married and condescendingly felt bad for me because I wasn’t, and I had to put up with all the “well, I’m sure we’ll find someone for you, then you can be as happy as Rob and I are!’ Funny, they didn’t look truly happy until they finally signed those divorce papers.

    • FauxRealFaux

      I hope their marriage lasts. No illl wishes from me..

    • Mai Linh Phan Le

      It’s not like I’m their fan or anything but for some ridiculous reason I feel like they will stay together! But I can’t wait to be proven wrong, my life’s gonna be more exciting with Kimye divorce haha!

    • bjd44

      This is just a business relationship — plain and simple. Just like Jay-Z and Beyoncé, where the “business” in that one is just about over — right after their tour. Then it’ll be done for them, too. Wait and see…… It’s all about “business”…… Just pathetic……

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