I was hoping that being married to Fashion Innovator and Egoist Kanye West might do something to improve Kim Kardashian‘s fashion sense, but after one glimpse of her dress in the newly-released photos from their wedding, it’s clear that my hopes were in vain.
As I’m sure we all know, Kimye got married this weekend, and by some miracle, there were no video cameras at the wedding. Meaning A. we’ll just have to take Beyonce and Jay Z‘s word for it that they showed up, and B. that we aren’t seeing the actual wedding dress until right this very second.
There were some pictures going around beforehand of a plunging ivory number with a whole bundle of cleavage that I assumed was the real thing, but now we have pictures of those crazy kids actually exchanging their first kiss and walking down the aisle together, so we know that that was merely a costume change. (I mean, this is Kardashian – West wedding after all. Surely you didn’t think she was going to wear ONE THING the entire time? How very Kris Humphries that would’ve been.)
But anyway, a full set of photos has been released to E! by the family, and oh my god you guys, Kim’s dress. Boy are you gonna love it — but only if you like handkerchiefs.
Would you just look at that. It’s like someone told Kim that the more skin she covered up, the classier her dress would be. The girl is nose-to-toes in doilies right now. They’re Givenchy Haute Couture doilies, but still — who let this happen?
(Also…HELLO NORTH WEST, YOU LITTLE PHOTOBOMBER YOU.)
AND WHY ISN’T KANYE IN WHITE TIE? This is a wedding, okay? Not a Grammy award. You need to pull it together, you guys, because it’s honestly only gonna get harder to dress each other from this point forward. (Way fewer parties.)