Maleficent is finally being released this Friday, so you officially have three days to prepare yourself for being completely and totally overwhelmed by Angelina Jolie. Not only is she playing a supremely bad-ass villain, but judging by the posters and the trailers we’ve seen so far, she looks stupid-beautiful doing it.
And she’s not the only one, either! As if female villains aren’t awesome enough, pretty much every time we get a new one, she’s imagined in a way that’s a really interesting, non-traditional take on beauty. After all, there’s not much that’s conventionally attractive about two curving black horns rising out of a woman’s head, but the way it’s done with Angelina in Maleficent, I’m 100% on board.
Obviously creating an evil plot to take over the world is theoretically bad, but if it’s possible to look this awesome doing it, I’m betting there’d be a bunch of people willing to let their hearts freeze over just to make an exception.
1. Angelina Jolie as Maleficent
2. Halle Berry as Catwoman
Okay SURE, so the movie was terrible. But just try to tell me that there’s anyone else on Earth who could’ve pulled off that ridiculous, shiny pleather bondage costume. You can’t do it, because the entire movie is an homage to ‘Why Halle Berry Is Better Than You’.
3. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy in Batman & Robin
I don’t want to freak anybody out, but something about Uma in that red and green costume HAUNTED MY CHILDHOOD. I feel like I could probably still recite the scene where she kisses Robin word-for-word; that’s how seared into my psyche it was. Poison Ivy was the epitome of evil, but somehow that only made her more sexy. Although with the benefit of hindsight, I now see that her eyebrows were entirely unacceptable.
4. Charlize Theron as Queen Ravenna in Snow White And The Huntsman
Oh hey gurl. Thanks for giving me a reason to stay awake for this movie even when Kristen Stewart couldn’t, you beautiful monster.
5. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises
After hearing Anne describe the catsuit as a ‘psychological terrorist’ based on how much time and effort it took for her to look good in it, I was skeptical that anything could be worth it:
“[The suit] was a psychological terrorist. The suit, thoughts of my suit, changing my life so I would fit into that suit…. It dominated my year. I went into the gym for ten months and didn’t come out.”
But then I saw the movie and I was like, ‘Oh, okay yes. That is why people diet. Good on you, girl, in the battle between you and that jumpsuit, you absolutely won, and I’m gonna BRB because I gotta get to the gym POST HASTE.’
6. Lucy Liu as O-Ren-Ishi in Kill Bill
Never has a head been severed from a body quite so erotically. I’m not saying I’d provoke her to decapitate me as well, but whatever it takes to get Lucy to say the phrase, ‘I collect your fucking head’ again, I’d do that.
7. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique in X Men
Technically, there’s nothing that attractive about a blue person with yellow eyes all covered in spikes, but try telling me that after you’ve watched J-Law in X Men and not before. None of us stand a chance.
8. January Jones as Emma Frost in X Men
Let’s head back into X Men for a moment and marvel (pun absolutely intended) at how extraordinarily attractive January was in this role. She was so perfectly cast in the appearance department that we don’t even need to talk about how flimsy and unnecessary the character was in general.
9. Famke Janssen as Phoenix in X Men
WE’RE STAYING IN X MEN EVEN LONGER. Call me crazy, but I liked Famke way better as Phoenix than as Jean Grey, before she turned evil. Something about the ‘not worrying about other people, only in it for herself’ thing is a super refreshing, attractive character trait, especially for a woman in a superhero movie.
10. Jennifer Garner as Elektra
Another example of a terrrrrible film with a great lead. Jennifer didn’t have much to work with in the movie, but it was nice to see a seriously buff woman kicking ass and being morally ambiguous. Plus 100% less Ben Affleck than the preceding movie, Daredevil.
11. Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in Iron Man 2
Like Elektra, Black Widow could be on or off this list depending on her behavior that particular day, but I’m leaving her on, because I think refusing to be labeled as 100% good or 100% evil is one of the most villainous things you can do. (Other than looking that good in a jumpsuit, amirite???)