• Fri, May 23 - 3:30 pm ET

John Mayer Is Desperate To Hook Up With Lea Michele And Make Me Vomit In My Mouth

John Mayer Playing Guitar

In, what feels like, his ongoing quest to make me never stop saying “I just gagged a little,” John Mayer is reportedly lusting after Lea Michele. Sure, I could’ve used a different set of words to describe that, but I want to get you as close to what I’m feeling as possible. Maybe pining over her? Or what about yearning for her? Are you on the verge of vomit now, too? I hope so, because I’d hate to be so grossed out all alone.

According to Star Magazine, obvi the most trusted source in the game, John allegedly can’t get over how badly he wants to hook up with Lea.

“John’s had a crush on Lea for a while. He constantly tells her how beautiful and talented she is.”

I guess John’s internal boning clock began ticking too loudly after having been broken up with Katy Perry for so long now. (Three months, but who’s counting?) And, if she can date a DJ, he can voraciously pursue a teen idol, even if said teen idol allegedly isn’t entertaining the idea in the slightest.

“She just wants someone to have fun with. She isn’t about to give her heart away to someone like him.”

“Someone like him” is right. If he and Katy couldn’t even make it work after enduring that painfully awkward music video that they shot together, then I don’t think that Lea has any chance at holding on to him.

Maybe the craziest thing of all is that I don’t even have any strong feelings about who Lea Michele dates, I just have the strongest feelings about who dates John Mayer. It’s weird, I know. But, with enough dedication to the cause, maybe we could get it down to just one Katy Perry sometimes when she’s bored. A girl can dream!

(GIF: Tumblr)

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