• Thu, May 22 - 4:18 pm ET

Rihanna And Charlie Sheen Are Involved In The Weirdest Feud Ever Right Now

Rihanna angry looking around GIF(via)

It seems like osmeone up there in the pop culture sky put a bunch of celebrity names in a hat and drew two of them out to get in a fight with each other, because I can’t think of any other reason why Rihanna and Charlie Sheen would be in a feud right now.

It all started earlier today, when Charlie put up one of his bizarre haiku-cum-Twitter-rants, explaining that he and his current girlfriend Brett Rossi were out to dinner the night before, to celebrate her birthday, when they realized Rihanna was at the same restaurant. Apparently they sent over a request to be introduced to her, but she declined the meeting, as she felt there were too many paparazzi outside.

Charlie Sheen GIF I don't sleep I wait(via)

Annnnd that’s pretty much all we know, because then Charlie Sheen gets booted up into full rant mode, calling Rihanna out on her ‘bad wig’ and repeating endlessly that even though his girlfriend was interested in meeting her, he ‘couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint’:

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and
“please kill me now”
that I’d never get back.

My Gal, however,
was NOT OK with it.
Nice impression you
left behind, Bday or not.
Sorry we’re not KOOL enough
to warrant a blessing from
the Princess.
(or in this case
the Village idiot)

You can read the full text here, if you’re feeling adventurous, but we’re gonna move on. RIhanna responded in pretty typical fashion, also via Twitter.

Don’t love the insinuation that Charlie’s gay and that that’s a bad thing, but in general, I was pretty surprised at her restraint. But you know wasn’t? CHARLIE. Back for more, this time he released a statement to TMZ registering his disgust with RiRi:

Dear Ms. Rihan-
oh wait, no last name,
Okay, Dear R -
clearly English is NOT
your primary language.

Firstly I want to thank you for recognizing me as Royalty. I’m flattered.
And secondly;
do the good Queen a favor and go tend to the dungeon in my Castle.
But beware of the
rats and the snakes.
They stir with folly
awaiting your tepid advance,
in the shadows…”

later Doosh!
cs

And this is where we find ourselves now! Shaking our heads in confusion as to how this fight sprang up between two highly volatile people in less than twenty-four hours. Yikes.

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  • TJ

    This is how we die right? This escalates until they both have nuclear devices going everywhere and the Earth explodes? Right?!?

    • Nbl

      I fear this is it. You are welcome to join myself and my dog in our bomb shelter. We have 7 seasons of Supernatural, all the Harry Potter books and movies, super comfy blankets, and enough Nutella to cover the Great Wall of China in a three foot thick layer of that hazelnutty goodness. I might bring in my man but only if you bring one too. The fallout might take a while and I don’t like awkward situations.

    • TJ

      Ahh! My Savior! I agree to your terms! But might I bring all seasons of Friends and Doctor Who to watch and a Taylor Swift album to burn for warmth?

    • Nbl

      Ummm YES! To everything. You know what? Screw it. I’ll buy seasons 1 and 2 of Sherlock (I already have 3) and we’ll just head down there now.

    • TJ

      We are set for LIFE!

    • Whitney Blaaspijp

      love your sense of humour both of you :D

    • TJ

      Little late to the party, Whit! ;) But thanks! :D

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  • Katy Hearne

    stories like this are the reason I turn on my computer every morning

  • http://www.dregstudios.com Brandt Hardin

    He gets even wilder the deader he gets! How many grams of rock do you think Zombie Charlie Sheen can bang down? Put on your party face and see at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/10/09-countdown-to-halloween-charlie-sheen.html on the Zombie Walk of Fame!

  • Nbl

    Does anyone remember that blissful moment of time when the Sheen’s were on the brink of becoming a powerhouse acting family? Martin is good and Charlie Sheen was very talented. He did great comedy (Hot Shots was awesome and you can’t tell me different) and his dramatic roles are iconic (Wall Street and Platoon). Not to mention EMILIOOOOOOO (what the hell happened to him?). Now everything is overshadowed by Charlie’s insanity and the fact that he spells “douche” like a crazed Bieber fan.

  • MelaineHeiser

    The Video is so very funny for the action of Rihanna and charlie sheen.
    http://phytoceramideshelps.com

  • FauxRealFaux

    I am team Rihanna on this one. Charlie Sheen is acting like the crackhead he is…

  • Penelope

    I don’t think she’s insinuating that he’s gay. She’s just using that sort of lingo to trivialize his outburst and, yes, perhaps emasculate him for getting so emotional over a declined invitation (from someone he “wouldn’t recognize in a lineup”).

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