• Thu, May 22 - 1:48 pm ET

Kristen Stewart Is Crappy In The Sils Maria Trailer — May Have Peaked At Twilight

Kristen Stewart making crazy eyes in Clouds of Sils Maria GIFIn case you were still holding out hope for Kristen Stewart to become a better actor in the mature roles awaiting her after Twilightyou can go ahead and let go. Just let that hope drop right out of your hand, because I have seen the future in Clouds Of Sils Mariaand it is not so beautiful.

In case you’re not familiar with that title, it’s one of the final movies premiering at Cannes this weekend, and it also stars Juliette Binoche and Chloe Grace Moretz. They both actually look pretty great in the movie, so let’s skip them and focus on Kristen. (If you can, because her performance is very dull, even condensed down into a trailer that’s under two minutes long.)

She plays Valentine, young assistant to Binoche’s character, an aging movie star who came to fame playing a role that she’s now far too old for. Accordingly, it will be reinterpreted by Moretz’s character, while Binoche plays one of the older roles in the same production. UNTIL CHAOS ENSUES! Or like…two-thirds of chaos, because Kristen is unable to rouse herself even to a gentle boil. For all your worries, looks like you did end up getting pretty squashed out there, girl.

YOU GUYS. Every line is in monotone. I didn’t think it was possible, but she may have gotten even more listless since Twilight. Even when she accuses her boss of being in love with her, she announces it like she’s reeling off figures for a company’s quarterly sales. It’s ridiculous.

And it makes me wonder — how many chances is this lady gonna get? I’m anticipating like a billion more, but at some point someone’s gonna look back into her history and notice that she’s never done a good movie, right? Surely that must happen sometime. But when? How many more half-asleep heroines must K-Stew play in indie movies before we stop thinking of her as some kind of tour-de-force?

(Image: Tumblr)

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