Happy birthday to Megan Fox, who turns twenty-eight today! You remember Megan, right? She’s that stupidly-gorgeous girl who used to be around everywhere and was supposed to be the next big thing. But then instead, she had herself a couple of babies and only pops up in the occasional franchise to toss her hair and make us all incredibly jealous about her flawless genes.
And she’s not the only star that this has happened to! There are a ton of A-Listers out there who started their family and changed their priorities around, which is a totally understandable thing to do when your job requires you to A. work intense sixteen hour days and B. earn millions of dollars for it. If I was in that position and I’d just had a baby, I imagine at some point I’d put aside some of said millions and treat myself to some one-on-one time with my tiny human.
No hate at all, it’s just that things change when you have a baby (or so I’ve heard), and Megan and these other eleven celebrities seem to have decided that their little-uns are more important than their career — at least for the moment.
1. Megan Fox
Not only does Megan have two little beasties – Noah and Bodhi — but they’re only like sixteen months apart, so she really has her hands full. Maybe it’d be easier for her to plan her schedule around her pregnancies in the future (or vice versa), if someone bothered to teach her a thing or two about birth control.
I think you’re the one I miss most of all, Adele. She had albums coming out at a pretty good clip there for a second, with 21 coming out only a couple years after 19, but ever since her son Angelo was born, it’s been all quiet on the soulful front. (Although apparently we can expect her next album 25 out sometime this year, which is quite literally music to my ears.)
3. Drew Barrymore
It seems like she used to do a romcom with Adam Sandler every twenty minutes or so, but now that she has Olive and Frankie underfoot, she’s been sticking to things like writing a book about found-heart-shapes in nature. Oh and one more Adam Sandler rom-com, Blended, for good measure.
4. Jessica Alba
To be fair, Jessica was never all that big on the acting scene; she mostly just appeared on red carpets to show of designers’ creations and make us all feel terrible about our bodies. But of late she seems to have turned her attention even more inward, focusing on being a good parent for her daughters, Honor and Haven.
5. Angelina Jolie
Angelina does still work pretty extensively, but she’s spoken out about being much more choosy with what she accepts, as she knows it will take her away from home for extended periods. Wherever possible, she takes roles that can incorporate one or more of her six children — Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox — like the title role in Maleficent, which features three of them.
6. Katie Holmes
Did you know that Katie Holmes used to be famous for projects other than birthing Suri Cruise and being the artist formerly known as Tom Cruise‘s wife? I did once, but the memories are swiftly fading.
7. Jessica Simpson
Not that the world is really dangling on the edge of its seat waiting for more music out of Jessica Simpson, but she’s been pretty distracted lately with her two adorable kids Maxwell Drew and Ace Knute. And if I’m being honest? I’m not mad about it even a little bit, because those creatures are criminally cute.
8. Hilary Duff
After all her years of success and hard work in the acting business, it’s easy to forget that Hilary was only twenty-two when she married Mike Comrie, and twenty-four when their son Luca was born, and she’s pretty much been off the radar ever since. We’re only really hearing a peep out of her now because her marriage is faltering and the rumors say she wants to focus up on her career again.
9. Nicole Richie
If there were awards for celebrity moms, Nicole would have to get ‘Most Improved’ for the way she’s turned her life around in adulthood. She used to be all spotlight all the time, but now she’s carved herself out a little personal life for herself, her husband Joel Madden, and their two kids, Harlow and Sparrow.
10. Gwyneth Paltrow
Know how I know Gwyenth doesn’t like to work on movies anymore, now that she has kids? Because she told me. Apparently Apple and Moses take up such an enormous amount of her time that having a nanny take care of them while she’s on a movie set is way harder than the situation that any more traditional working mother finds herself in. Why doesn’t everyone just quit their job and spend their days focusing on hydration and perfecting the recipe for kale chips? I don’t get it either, Gwynnie.
11. Jennifer Garner
Seriously no hate on this one, because I’m betting Ben Affleck is zero help at all. And when you have three kids, there are some sacrifices that have to be made. It’s just a bummer when those sacrifices have to happen in your career but not your husband’s.
12. Natalie Portman
No sooner had she snagged her Oscar for Black Swan and popped out her son Aleph than she moved out to France and was never seen or heard from ever again. At least until the next Thor sequel.