I think Adam Levine might be pregnant, because he just revealed one of the weirdest cravings I’ve ever heard of. It wasn’t for pickles and ice cream, and he doesn’t wake up wanting sauerkraut, ala Mila Kunis, but all of a sudden he needs to be a race car driver. And there’s no time to lose.
I’m used to Adam being kind of an odd bug, going totally blond last week just to remind us that he’s a douchebag, but even I was unprepared for the complete lack of context that accompanied his most recent tweet:
I absolutely must become I racecar driver now. It just feels right.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) May 16, 2014
Let’s unpack that. Where was he and what was he doing that he didn’t have time to even spell-check this nonsense. I MUST BECOME I RACECAR DRIVER. Maybe in an ESL class? Or perhaps he unearthed a time machine and took himself back to kindergarten, where he was asked what he’d like to be when he grows up and gave a perfectly natural response? (For a five-year old.) I BE I RACECAR DRIVER.
What sort of strange new code is this, Adam? What does it mean that it ‘just feels right’? More right than being famous for womanizing? That seems like a pretty sweet gig, if you can get it, and you’ve already got it, so why drive yourself nowhere for an hour around a track with other guys doing the same thing?
Like, I’m sorry to keep harping on this, but I really can’t get over this. What snapped in your mind, Adam? Did you finally get around to seeing Drive? Is this a Ryan Gosling thing? Or are you asleep? I’d accept any explanation, but throw at least one at me.