YOU GUYS. I have to believe we’re not all foolish enough to think thatÂ Robin ThickeÂ is going to be able to win back his estranged wife Paula PattonÂ with a song. Right? None of us are laboring under that delusion? Because I’ve been seeing quite a few headlines reminding us that he’ll be performing at the Billboard Music Awards this weekend and thatÂ anything can happen.
The awards are still several days away (airing Sunday at 9:00), and already we’re lousy with headlines like ‘Robin Thicke To Use Billboard Awards To Get Paula Patton Back With Subtle New Song’, ‘Robin Thicke To Beg Paula Patton Back On Billboard Awards’, and my personal favorite — ‘Will Robin Thicke Woo Paula Patton Back with New Song at the Billboard Music Awards?’…
Answer: no. And y’know why?Â Because he’s not a bard sailing past on a curtained pagoda while Paula fans herself on the riverbank. He is a husband and a father and a rumored cheater, but most importantly, he’s a resident of planet Earth, where it typically takes more to repair a faltering relationship than six hours in the studio. JUST SAYING.
But me thinking that apparently puts me in the minority to the rest of the internet, who are eagerly awaiting a first listen of ‘Get Her Back’, a song from Robin’s new album that nobody’s heard. (And not even the first song that he’s dedicated to Paula, as it happens.)
“What everybody’s wondering about, they’re going to hear it all in the album. Everything about this moment in my life â€“ this amazing year I just had and what I’m going through personally has actually ignited some of the best writing I’ve done in a long time.”
See? Such romance! Cancel the roses and the apology and the marriage counseling and the pledge never to march around with topless women in the music video for a rape anthem again! All those gestures are dwarfed in the face of a song with a name like ‘Get Her Back’. How can you resist such poetry?
If Paula Patton doesn’t melt into a puddle of butter and forgiveness in the first three chords, I say we revoke her lady-cred right on the spot!