Jay Z has apparently agreed to be Kanye West‘s best man at his wedding to Kim Kardashian, and I’m not mad, just disappointed. After all, it was bound to happen eventually right? I have no friends myself, as I’m a cold-hearted blogger, but I’ve heard it’s important to show up for your friend as he pledges to spend the rest of his life as a jewel in E!‘s crown. I mean…as Kim’s husband. Sorry, not sure how that typo happened.
But you know who isn’t bummed out about this news at all? Kanye. According to Radar Online, once Jay confirmed he’d be in attendance in Paris on May 24th, Kanye lost his mind with excitement and essentially transformed into a full-on toddler.
“The best news came when Jay sent a gift to Kanye with an inscription referring to Jay Z as the rapper’s ‘Best Man.’ The gift was a gold-plated, diamond-encrusted flask, delivered with a $10,000 bottle of scotch, for Kanye to have for his wedding day.”
Pretty much normal so far, right? Okay but GET READY.
“Kanye was almost jumping up and down, he was so excited. He was running around Kris [Jenner]‘shouse to find Kim saying, ‘Baby, look! Look! Jay and B are coming!’ Kanye has been begging Jay to reconsider his decision not to come to the wedding, an even more devastating decision that left Kanye groomsman-less when he declined being his best man during the televised nuptials.”
I AM OBSESSED. I’m just imagining him skidding into rooms in his socks, looking for Kim, and then crashing into another one while shouting “Baby! BABY! Auntie B and Uncle Jay are coming! Auntie B and Uncle Jay are coming to my party! Can I wear a bowtie??”
Apparently the change of heart from Jay and Beyonce came when Kim and Kanye elected not to televise their wedding. I know — I was similarly skeptical when I first heard it wouldn’t be on TV. But it sounds like it’s actually a real thing, because it was a condition of Jay Z and Beyonce attending:
“Both Jay and Beyonce are refusing to participate in any filming, so E! will get to air some wedding photos, but none with them in it. E! wants to shoot the rehearsal dinner, but Jay is putting his foot down. So the drama continues. Instead, Kim and Kanye are now in talks with Vogue to publish some wedding photos, after their cover did so well. Jay and Bey don’t mind that at all, as there will be a write-up with it, and they can promote their dual tour.”
If there’s one thing (and only one) that Kimye likes more than publicity, it’s famous people. So if anyone was going to get this wedding off the airwaves, it was gonna be Jay&Bey y’know? For as annoyed as I am with them for caving and agreeing to go to the wedding, I do appreciate that I’ll be spared the temptation to tune in myself on E! Thank you for that much at least.